Lived Experience Forum

[lizm3]

Hi,<br>I am new to this but am really hoping anyone can give me some advice or make me feel a little bit at ease.<br>I am going through a horrible time at the moment, I have been told it's serve depression/anxiety &amp; have been seeing a doctor &amp; psychologist but now I am seeing a mental health nurse who is hoping to get me into a psycritrist asap.<br>I have always been an over thinker for many years &amp; have had stages of getting stuck on irrational thoughts which make complete sense to me, even though I know they are riduclous. The thought might stay with me for a week or month but I can still get on with life &amp; once I get over the thought I think how did I ever think that. <br>The last two months have been out of control, I have over anazlized everything so much starting from, is my partner thinking about me as much as I think about him, I wonder how those people are think, when I look at people I think of all the things they could be thinking not so much about me but just in general &amp; now I feel completely out of control. <br>I am on An antidepressant which isn't making any difference yet &amp; I know I need some real cbt. I just am so scared as I feel I have completely lost my way of thinking, all the conversations that go on around me I think what's the point I won t remember them anyways, so stupid but in my head it makes sense. I feel so trapped like their is no way out, I haven't thought of harming myself or anything like that but I just feel so trapped in my own head &amp; thoughts. Peoe say just be positive you will be fine but I feel crazy. <br>Any advice would be much appreciated!!

[CherryBomb]

 Hi @lizm3

Welcome to the Forums.

Seems like you feel like your thoughts are running wild and spiralling out of control. While people think that 'being positive' will make things better, things are often not as easy as that. This is not your fault. Sometimes people can feel bad for no reason, even when things are apparently good in a person's life. Remember that mental illness, is like any other illness – anyone can become unwell, and people can get better with treatment.

Are you still seeing a psych or is it just MH nurse for the mean time? Have they started CBT with you?

Remember that the thoughts that you have not necessarily real. For instance, I might think that my partner is angry at me, but in his mind, he’s not. It’s just me thinking this. I find challenging throughs can be helpful.

You mentioned that you have ‘had stages of getting stuck on irrational thoughts which make complete sense to me, even though I know they are ridiculous.’ Can you tell me more about what you mean by this? Does it mean that at the time when you’re having some thoughts that there’s a part of you that questions if they are unhelpful.

[lizm3]

Thank you so much for getting back to me.
I'm seeing the mhn for the moment while she is trying to get me into a psycritrist. I haven't done much cbt but I am looking forward to starting it.
I suppose I mean I might get a thought that will stick in my head & then after a certain amount of time it will just go & ill think how did I ever think that, if that makes any sense.
Only thing is this time I feel like I've over analysed my whole way of thinking & life. I'm questioning how I use to think when I was feeling fine, as in when I don't have any thoughts that I think are irrational if that makes any sense.in my head I know exactly what I'm thinking but I just can't get it out to anyone.
I can look back at photos & know when I wasn't feeling myself or when I was having a weird thought.
At the moment though I just feel so trapped, I don't know if the medication is doing anything & I just don't know how to stop it. I haven't seen friends or been to work for over a month.

[CherryBomb]

Medication can take sometime to work - up to six weeks I hear. Though remember, medication is usually only part of the story. While it can help with biochemistry, there are still the psychsocial aspects of mental illness that can be treated. Treatments that work with thoughts, and manage environment stressors.

Though, it might not seem like it now, things can and do get better. CBT can help to manage thoughts, and if that doesn't work, there's other types of therapies that help. There this great thread about Toolkits started by @MoonGal, which has some great strategies in there to manage tought times. In that thread @CannonSalt has provided some links to some CBT online rescourses. 

@Former-Member works with mindfulness, and has started this great thread about gratitude. There's also this thread that has some more stuff about mindfulness. 

May I ask how long you've been feeling this way? When are you hoping to start CBT - you may want to check out some of the online programs in the meantime...

CB

[lizm3]

Thank you I will look into those for sure. I'm happy to give anything a try.
I first started being a bit ocd with my thoughts about 10 years ago, with numbers etc then I would get weird thoughts every now again, sometimes stuff like " if I don't think this then something might happen" but I know & can recognise that it makes no difference if I think something or not it won't make a difference. then two years ago it all got really bad & my thoughts just took over, I went into a depressive state & it took me about 5 months to come back from. I was sure I would never be like that again & now it is worse than ever, I suppose it got really bad the last 2 months but now I'm at the point where I just don't feel like I'll ever get better

[lizm3]

Also hoping to start cbt tomorrow when I see the mhn 🙂

[CherryBomb]

Hi @lizm3,

That's great to hear that you going to start CBT tomorrow, I look forward to hearing about it.

Though it might not seem like, the fact that you have gotten through tough times before, shows me that you can get well again..