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[Historylover]

There seems to be problems with getting inbox messages for a few of us of late. I just found yours and there have been a few others.

I've spent the day moping around today. Not good. Take care, @Appleblossom.

[Historylover]

@Appleblossom 

P.S. I have two brothers, but one transitioned. One of the biggest regrets of his life, I think, but he wouldn't admit it. Turned our family upside down and had us all gnashing our teeth. Families! 

[Historylover]

Once again, no inbox notification, @Appleblossom. So you've got a huge closet full of gays!!😉 

[Appleblossom]

@Historylover You said it!

That was before I had a huge closet of clothes ... now I guess I got both ...

[Historylover]

Lucky you, @Appleblossom!!  My brother (XY chromosomes) is married (I think) to a gay woman, so we have a man who thinks he's a woman who was in the wrong body, and a woman being 'his/her' husband. It does my head in. He transitioned in the 90s and I've never seen him since, although I understand all the relatives came around for 'a look' and a private laugh. I have tried emailing him several times over the years, but it ends up in an argument by the second attempt. I cannot even have a sensible conversation with him. He tells me he's a recluse. That makes two of us.

[Appleblossom]

I had a straight govt job @Historylover in an area where there was a lot of 'street' action in field. I had to walk up and down that street to get to work and met people and heard a lot of stories. Then it was about going to Brazil. 

My heart goes out to people confused about who they are, but the sex thing is only part of the whole person deal. 

I am pretty trans .. ha ha ... I sayd I am half bloke before I even heard the new trans ideologies ... and not pretty enuff ... cos of my science side and practical side and cos I rode motor bikes

I only started getting girl friends late in life ... when we are all mostly seniors ... so stretching it a bit to call ourselves giiirrrrrls.  I got told off by a new advocate ... but now I am offended ... cos I really have seen it all and lived it all ... and some of it has been ethical dodgy ... re teachers doing the grooming ... I call buying white goods for high school students grooming ... I should not have had to RACE to buy a washing machine before her teacher, cos my daughter wanted to set up in a flat before she finished Year 12 ... when there were 3 households she could have lived in ... I love my daughter ... and she works hard ... but something aint right.

Sorry being silly and sad ... trying to cheer you up ... and roll it into a rant ...

It was my girls birthday this week. I bought some presents... sitting on the cupboard waiting for me to work out how to deliver.

[Historylover]

So that is the dodgy issue you were talking about with your daughter and her teacher, @Appleblossom. That's against the law, isn't it? 

By the way, I said to my ex-psy when I first saw him, so many decades ago, that I felt I had no femininity (although I wouldn't say the same thing now). But who does these days? Women are becoming more mannish all the time and men are thoroughly confused as to how they are meant to behave.  The more things change, the bigger the mess, it seems to me.

[Appleblossom]

Yes that issue re teacher and my daughter is illegal @Historylover but I did not have the werewithall to fight it legally, and told it would just alienate my daughter more.  They travelled around the world later and lived together and are now split after 5 years, but co parenting the IVF twins in 2 homes.  When I heard her voice saying she was on 'maternity leave' this week on her voice message. I felt she has crossed the line into fantasy.  She is on holiday and taking 2 x 9 yr old kids with her ... not having a baby.  At first I hoped that she was actually having a baby, but no.

Interesting about femininity ...  I like the ideas of ... Sophia ... and have a sense of an archetypal Internal Feminine ... even the Shamanistic concepts of the crone.  

I found "Goddesses in Every Woman" a Jungian book helpful ... as it drew out various aspects ... it looks at the daughter, the keeper of the hearth, the wife, the huntress. Not sure if I have mentioned it with you before.  Nuns were prominent in my childhood ... so there is that as well.

There are many ways to be female and it is the path of maturity to move throught many of them and not be pinned down, but to live the life ... 

There are spectrums every where and I am reclaiming the rainbow from any narrow usurpal of it as a symbol.

Anyway a bit of distraction til you feel the motivation to throw yourself into things with your customary full enthusiasm and effort.

[Historylover]

Just letting you know that my earlier post was removed, @Appleblossom. I don't know where one goes to say things like this, controversial things, but I seem to be inundated with life aspects I have to bear unexpressed.

I don't know how I am going to continue with my keyboard. I feel like I am getting nowhere although I know I am learning all the time, but I keep making constant mistakes. It's disheartening. I'm realistic to know that after 3 weeks I'm not going to be Mozart, but I'm also wondering if I don't have musical ability, or perhaps I just have too much else on my mind. 

Anyway, have a good day.

[Appleblossom]

Having tough conversations Hmmm. 

Sorry, for your losses in living in distressed and fragmented familes.  It is a kind of grief.

I had my post removed too @Historylover 

I tried to please and move between 'dogmatic religious' (mother) and 'way out experimental types' (her siblings and their partners) in my family. With no father, and lots of early disruption, orphanages and fosters, I was vulnerable and bending over backwards trying to understand the people around me and LIFE.  Still am.  Still the same broad stretch ... from one extreme to the other ...

I am understanding the benefit of more conservative purist Family approaches, tho I could never go there. Too late. Protection and Prosperity are great if that is what God Gave...but he did not seem to spread it out evenly.

I have a lot of sorting to do today.  Choral Music all over the floor in stacks.  Children,  Folk, World, Early Music, Sacred, Christmas,Opera. 2,3, 4 part ....

I really do not believe there is a magic music ability. There are hot housed talents like Mozart which do have a down side.  Do it at your pace. Go easy on yourself. Give it a miss for a day and go outside for a walk.  Its fine. Its there when you are in the mood.