03-08-2014 07:50 PM
OK, this is all I could think of, it's not so much a joke as a quote, but I find it funny...
"Before you judge someone, always walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you are a mile away...and you have their shoes"
04-08-2014 07:09 PM
17-11-2016 08:06 PM
Im laughing so hard @Shaz51 it hurts.....
17-11-2016 08:09 PM
18-11-2016 06:38 AM
I'm sure all fulltime carers will relate to this. (But stop reading now if you don't like black humour.)
At one time when I was totally burnt out trying to do everything possible (and impossible) for my son, a friend reprimanded me and insisted I take some time off to focus on myself for a change. She said, 'You remind me of that joke about the Greek widow!' I said, 'What do you mean?' She replied, ' There was this woman who adored her son, fussing over him 24/7. He finally met a girl with whom he fell in love and he asked her to marry him.She said,'I'll only marry you if you get rid of your mother and bring her head to me on a silver platter.' So the son disposed of his mother, placed her head on a silver platter and set off for his girlfriend's house. But as he walked out the front door, he tripped and fell over. As his mother's head rolled down the footpath, an anxious voice was heard coming out of its mouth, 'Oh my darling son, are you alright?'
16-12-2016 06:22 PM
Thank you so much for sharing this.
I have an adult son, not living with me, recently diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia who has escaped his CTO, now expired and gone to another state. Through detective work we have discovered which state, he has been checked by police following up on missing person report and deemed fine. He is very clever with the "yes, yes I am fine". he advised them that he is on holiday having a rest from his family. He wanted no contact from his family. This same set of divorced parents individually have received requests for assistance with money. He has moved again he informed his father but wont say where.
i was drawn to the part about the healthy side as in the evils.Years ago my son bought me a juicer, from overseas, the ones here arent good enough. it cost over $500 and i am to use it only for juicing mainly vegetables, which must be fresh organic, the fresher the better. mainly green ones kale, spinach, watercress. I've been given detailed lists on many occasions. i must grow my own, in fact all of them i must grow. Everything else is toxic. i have grown some vegetables, some fruit at different times. i do know all of this but still have to be told in great detail. If I respond with yes I know or I have done that. No you must listen. you are not listening. it is very important that you listen to what I say.
I was thrilled when i found out that it minced meat because i used to mince my own meat years ago with one of those original style mincers. I made the mistake of speaking about this to him. i then received a lecture on and on about must not use the machine for anything other than abovementioned organic fruit and vegetables. even when washed thoroughly toxins from meat could still be there. Under no circumstances must I use the juicer for anything else. I had to promise.
The first time I used it i put everything that was green in my fridge in. That afternoon and evening I moved into the toilet as my insides were not impressed and remained sore for a couple of days after.
It has its plastic cover on and is back in the cupboard. i will use it again just not in the immediate future.
he of course when i have taken him out orders thai food and yiros with extra lamb both perfectly fine in my book but not quite practising what he preaches.
This is probably not funny to others but because only recently diagnosed, in total denial and missing i have been crying my eyes out, worried sick and having extra medical appointments. I have my first appointment next tuesday with a psychologist to discuss symptoms of schizophrenia and best way to approach person, strategies.
So to find this has helped tremendously. Thank you again
16-12-2016 08:15 PM
Did you hear about a lady that was going 40 kms an hour on a busy highway
well the police pulled her over to ask why she was going so slow
I was obeying the sign back there , it said 40
the police said no, that is the highway 40 not the speed you should go at
Ohhh the lady said
You should of seen me on highway 140 yeaterday
17-12-2016 12:56 AM
When I read your message, I just feel angy and want to kicks omething. Oh, do I have little knowledge of what your going through because Im going through it myself.......
bits of your story, my stories different of course.......
I'm exptremely overwhelmed with my own stuff......the most humourous thing I can say is that.....saw a great movie on Monday called Arrival .....one of the best films I have ever seen.
I won 4 cds last night on a radio station we listen to every night. YAy
I am allowed to post a rude joke??
17-12-2016 01:01 AM
Re; healthy food. My Husband and I have cut all sugar out of our meals. But during December, it's a little difficult because of Christmas stuff and so we keep to the diet 5 days per week at least and watch what we eat.
Like tonight, I ate some M&Ms and my husband went to his friends and drank a little alcohol......
BUT I'm just a gggggenius because.....I clean someone's home and she made me and hubby a huge mal of pork and porridge no sugar !!! YUM!!
This is'nt funny is it? @Shaz51 .... your jokes are so funny.....and so lovely and sweet and bad BAD I must tell my husband right now !!
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