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unsure what to do ??

not sure what to do ?????  My Husband has G.A.D ,  we have a small Mowing and Cleaning Business that we run, now and then everything builds up and we take a weekend off to relax but last week my husband took himself to hospital  with an Major depressive Episode which they kept him in for a week , now we are back home with medication and awaiting mental health plan to get him back on his feet -- I have kidney disease  stage 4 and can not drive ,so there is no income coming in -- today my husband said he feels like he doesn't and can`t work anymore -- the specialist said to ease back into work , any suggestions and advice will be great , just remembered the specialist gave my husband a Centrelink form -- 3 months sickness allowance to put in ?? but my husband is worried that we wont have any customers if we put the form in , at the end of 3 months but then today he doesn`t think he wants to work anymore Thank you

64 REPLIES 64

Re: unsure what to do ??

Hi @Shaz51

Firstly welcome to the Forums – so glad to have you join the community. Smiley Happy

It sounds like both you and your hubby are going through a pretty rough time at the moment. It’s understandable to feel concerned about the implications of taking a 3 month break from the family business… I would imagine for your husband who lives with GAD, this is a particularly daunting and anxiety provoking prospect. It is good to know that Centrelink can provide at least SOME financial buffer, if he does decide to take a break from work. But, for many people this can be a really difficult adjustment to make.

It can be really difficult finding that balance with working (or not working/taking a break if needed) when living with a mental illness. For some people, work can a great strategy for wellness. For other people, it can be a trigger for relapse. I think a number of our members could offer some support for what you are going through right now… Perhaps @Appleblossom @Former-Member  @WombatBoots @Hurtandalone @730 @Pixie @Goodgutz would be willing to share some of their experience or wisdom in this area of work? Also - whilst it is now closed for commends, you might be interested to have a read through one of our recent “Topic Tuesday” threads here, which explores the topic of managing mental health in the workplace.

@Shaz51 thank you again for taking the time to share some of what you and your hubby are going through right now... and again, a warm welcome to the Forums Smiley Happy

Re: unsure what to do ??

Hi Everyone, Well yesterday we had the day off, today my husband and i worked for the morning -- he wanted to work more but i said it might be too much so we  came home for lunch and then my husband slept for 4 hours , now he has gone back to bed at 8pm .

Re: unsure what to do ??

It sounds lovely that you are walking and working beside him.

Sometimes we can force ourselves to do things that are hard but other times it is best to listen to our bodies when they say enough is enough.

Welcome to the forums

Re: unsure what to do ??

Hi everyone, Today a crazy day-- so many decisions to choose from , my husband don`t know which way to turn, full of anxiety today , I don`t know which way is the best way  for him to go , so many options but which one would be the best

Content/trigger warning
 

Re: unsure what to do ??

Hi @Shaz51
How is everything going?

Were you and your husband able to make some decisions?

Re: unsure what to do ??

hi NikNik , we saw one doctor yesterday, we have another appointment on Tuesday with another doctor , My husband wants to keep going with our business , today he said he is thinking of not working on fridays , just working four days a week but then he changes his mind ,had a couple of Bad anxiety moments yesterday and this morning , finished work early today , going away for the weekend which will be good

Re: unsure what to do ??

Sometimes we need to make small decisions a step at a time ...

Time out can be great ... dont forget to look after you too.

Re: unsure what to do ??

thank you appleblossom , love to hear some tips to look after myself too as sometimes i feel confused on what to do ?? changes his mind so much that i might end up making the wrong choices for both of us ??

Re: unsure what to do ??

I would make your last point explicit to him .. with love

Sometimes we are so close we need to back of and let people talk things through .. as distinct from making an actual decision.

Reducing pressure so that you can both assess the best step to take, individual or separately.

Self employment can be wholly consuming as you do not have limits of time, or tasks, or place that are often part of the workplace.  We often feel we should push ourselves completely to do our best, when we may also need to conserve energy and plan ...

I am not great with boundaries .. but there are books .. the mods can reccommend.

 

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