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Casual Contributor

pushing people away

Hello can anyone shed some light on pushing people away it never feels right and yet I find that I do it all the time as a self protection mode. Why does it seem to be a common practice are there times when this is wise?  It can't always be wrong. Is it possible to do this without wrecking relationships and hurting loved ones 


Re: pushing people away

Hi 👋🏻 @seagul and welcome to the forum. 😊


Ive been asking myself similar questions lately. I’ve pushed good friends away for a few years now. I’ve always had in the back of my mind that one day I’ll rekindle those friendships. I don’t know if it is possible yet but I don’t feel ready to either. 


I think its a protective mechanism like you said. As for family I know there are times when they’ve been hurt by my isolating. Over time though I think my family began to understand better when I was pushing away. Over the last 6 months I have started to communicate better with them rather than just shutting them out. It’s helped as I can have the time I need to myself when things are hard and they understand better and give me the space. 


I dont really know what the future holds with relationships and friendships but I’m just taking it one day at a time and know at some point I’ll try again. 


Im not sure if this helps. I just wanted to say hi and that I experience something similar in regards to relationships. 


Re: pushing people away

@seagul Hi

Smiley Happy


I have mixed feelings about it too.  Sometimes it seems like its the "boundaries" that people go on about.  Sometimes its self protective as I often need to be calm and quiet to centre and regroup.  Sometimes its just anger.  Sometimes those people may have stepped over a line .... ???  I guess it all depends ....  sorry not much light ... but its a good question.

Smiley Happy

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