Skip to main content
Forums Home
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Our stories

LostAngel
Senior Contributor

online dating and how I'm feeling so far

so I've started dating on Tinder in recent days and things seem to be going relatively smoothly with someone ,we share simular interests and hes eager to meet up,I have been carefull but also at times open minded and shown a little of my vulnrable side and he still seems keen to meet,Im a little bit more giggly than I usually am so may be falling for this man a little the more we talk and share likes,and feelings about general things part of me is happy and curious and part of me is slighty scared of how things may go ,we have now both been I think very honest and upfront with eachother and have at times gone into deeper subjects,of what we both want ect,it is hard to get a better idea of how things may progress as we are only talking online at this stage and I am aware I need to protect my safety even if Im starting to feel a bit giggly ect I may decide to meet with him but of course it will be in a public place where I feel safe and will let someone in family know where I am in case things go sour also I would have phone numbers of people I can call if I feel unsafe and need to leave the date,but so far this man is not making me feel unsafe hes just helping with me learning about how dating works ect ,he has explained his intentions and Ive explained mine after all we could turn out to become just good friends or maybe more I dont know yet but of course I dont want to be stupid and I dont want to make huge mistakes but I am alowing myself to learn the ballancing act that dating is and Im letting myself make little mistakes along the way its a learning curve and Im doing this for me,it may not work out with the first man but at least Im trying to do this for myself,noone in my family knows yet,I havnt told anyone yet ,but when its time to meet up Ill let certain family members know for my safety sake,Im trying to keep my wits about me,Im basically exploring what I like,who I like ,what could suit me and vice versa and so far he is putting in equal effort with our talks and also giving me my own space , part of me feels I should give him a chance,Im starting to feel eager to meet him too he has not said or done anything hurtful so far and hes mentioned meeting to see if we have chemistry/ a spark and I know that even if we have  spark Im aware of my Boundaries and will make it clear to him what my boundaries are in regards to getting affectionate,Its almost as if I need to trust myself even more than the person Im dating in order for me personally to make the right choices I need to trust myself ,look after myself but also allow myself some goodtimes Thank you @Krishna for your advice   

8 REPLIES 8

Re: online dating and how I'm feeling so far

someone needs to calm down and that someone is me I need to back off from talking to the guy for a few days give him some space I made a fool of myself tonight messaging him while he was with his friends I just felt embarrassed that I was misunderstanding what he was saying but the good thing is he took it well and still wants to get to meet me ect but for a minute I thought I mucked it up but then again it was another small mistake on my part so he took it well after all I didnt realise untill he told me that he was out with friends who knows he may have been messaging me while being a bit drunk tonight which is fine hes allowed to have time with his friends and go out with his friends orwell a few days break from thinking about him might be a good idea Im getting a little too swept up by him and just the whole thing of dating someone for the first time especially online things would get misunderstood at times so I need to relax and do self care do my thing and let him do his thing for a while Ill watch a netflix series before bed I need to calm down and do self care dont get me wrong Im enjoying my experiences but I may be thinling too far ahead too soon although now we are both clear on one thing we would like to meet so I should just let things be for just a few days ,its ok cause hes not going anywhere,hes still intrested just need some alone time as Im a bit swept up in it all gosh Im learning some things and learning those things fast besides I stayed up till 2am last night so it doesnt help that Im overtired time for NetFlix and yet another deep breathe,I may need to talk to someone in family before I meet this guy not because hes bad or anything but just for advice ,and how to keep myself ballanced emotionally during all this new learning and life experience Smiley HappySmiley IndifferentSmiley SurprisedSmiley FrustratedSmiley Embarassed

Re: online dating and how I'm feeling so far

especially since Im keeping it all to myself a little too much,my feelings,thoughts ect about everything at the moment good question to ask myself who do I trust most to keep my personal dating life to themselves without them telling the whole family ,I mean it may be a good thing but doesnt mean I want everyone knowing,nor does everyone need to know at this stage

Re: online dating and how I'm feeling so far

Good morning @LostAngel. Slowly slowly sweetheart. Follow and trust your intuition and take things one step at a time. Try not to paint too much of a picture of how things will turn out, don't overthink and just stay in the present moment as it unfolds. Am hoping all goes well for you and remember to stay true to yourself. Have a lovely day xx

Re: online dating and how I'm feeling so far

thank you xx

Re: online dating and how I'm feeling so far

after yesterday feeling quite lonely and distant from family especially last nights inabilility to sleep and stop thinking Ive gone back to talking to my online date just about genereal things again,as for yesterday it was a day for me to just chill out for a bit ,watch netflix and self care but last night the overthinking got a bit much,Im putting time and effort into talking to my date but at the same same juggling other areas of my life well I have concerns now about how Im treating family and how Id much rather be spending time talking to my date more than anyone else,its been alot of emotional ups and downs this week,sometimes Im excited,sometimes Im scared,online dating is almost like dancing except this stage we are talking back and forth,so far no major issues thank goodness except for prioritising him over my family,Im new to dating but am enjoying learning so far and so much so I think its more than likely we will meet soon ,at times Im playing things cool other times feel like this person is someone I really like and would love to spend more time getting to know him ,Im going more by his character than anything else but his character so far is that hes behaving honest ,funny ,a bit of a tease ,smart and yeah Ive got some butterfly feelings for him ,we could turn out to be just friends though but at least Im trying ,giving myself a chance and him a chance ,I just need to make sure things dont go wrong with my family,but it is my life and my choices,Im dating someone for me ,woke up feeling a bit better this morning than last night

Re: online dating and how I'm feeling so far

well it seems that one family member is either currently angry,upset,concerned or trying to undestand me,my older cousin messaged me today asking about my behaviour from last night ,mainly why I messaged him and then deleted the message after he responded,this isnt the first time Ive done this and today Ive been more focussed on my online date/trying to establish a social life but it is making me think that at the moment my needs are costing me in terms of now being more distant with family ,and no I have not told my family yet about my online date thats all for now

Re: online dating and how I'm feeling so far

good morning ,this thread has become continuous for the moment                               things have changed in a good way with my date getting to know each other on an emotional level,instead of feeling excited with butterflies Im now feeling calm and cared for by his company which is really nice I hope to him soon,but for now we still keep talking and gosh at times I can tell already that hes a romanticHeart                 as for my family well thats not going as well with some asking me about my behaviour and the fact Im acting weird ,I thought it was because of how Ive been feeling emotionally distant,but I think that dating is having an effect on those around me as Im sure dating is having a good effect on me,I think the effect with some family has been negative though in the way that Im not focussed on my family now,Im more focussed on my online date,I love my family but my attention,thoughts and emotions are centred on myself and my online date,Im not sure when or if Ill tell my family about him at this stage as weve only been talking for about a week now,I may wait till weve met in person first or just before the first date,at the moment Im keeping things between us,and things are still good with him a few hiccups but nothing major,it will interesing when we finally do meet will have to wait and see,Ive chosen to get to know someone based on character and intrests rather than just solely on looksHeartHeartSmiley Happy

Re: online dating and how I'm feeling so far

good news Im getting support from lifeline as I need it regarding this subject ,The Lifeline Texting and Online Chat are most helpfull so if anyone else needs to talk to someone but not by phone just try by text or online chat instead,am also thinking about more specifics to stay safe and happy and working out particular family members I can talk to as needed,I might even do things like type up a plan of what Id like to see happen and about safety related issues also just how to manage my emotions which have been upsy /downsy dating feels like a roller coaster ride Ill keep posting as neede as it helps to sort through the emotions and thoughts about it all ,Im glad the Forums are here 

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance