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EternalFlower
Senior Contributor

no sleep all year

Hi all,


i'm new here and thought i'd try make a post to meet some ppl here and find out how this place works 🙂

I've always been a poor sleeper but this year I have become phobic about sleep, obsessed with past trumatic events which I keep reliving on loop, and am terrified to even get in my bed - 

When I do sleep it's usually from sheer exhaustion and I collapse into a muddy, heavy sleep with horrible nightmares.
Have tried to get help but feel misudnerstood and upset somtimes when my experience is simplified. Like i'm not trying or am broken just because I can't sleep. I haven't really shared this struggle with any friends. 
I work on very little sleep and also have no choice but to drive etc. 
Every so often I go somewhere on a holiday or trip and somehow feel safe and protected from my life and problems, and maange to sleep okay for a few nights until I get home and the bad cycle starts again. Thanks for reading. Hope everyone's having a good night 

30 REPLIES 30

Re: no sleep all year

@EternalFlower  Welcome to the forums.

 

I’m sorry to hear you are struggling with sleep. I have the same struggles. I don’t think people actually believe you don’t sleep, they seem to think it’s in your mind. But it’s very real.

 

Working and driving would make it very hard, as concentration can get tricky.

 

There are others here who understand. You might like to read other threads and join in. No pressure, just if you feel up to it.

 

A forum tip. The @ brings a dropdown. Pick a name, or as many names as appear, and you have tagged someone.

 

Nice to meet you.

 

 

Re: no sleep all year

Hi @EternalFlower 

Firstly welcome to the Sane Forums.

 

Sorry to hear you have so much difficulty with sleep. I can understand the nightmares that come with sleep and how hard it is to get a good nights sleep.

 

I hope you find the support you are looking for here.

Hoping also your day goes well

 

Re: no sleep all year

Hi @EternalFlower ,

 

Well done for sharing. I can see others have given you some direction for further help. 

 

Would you feel comfortable opening up here about what you feel misunderstood about? I can relate that this is where a lot of frustration and triggers come from.  I see things in a spiritual sense, so trying to explain this to a Dr or psychiatrist and gain their understanding, which is almost impossible, was infuriating for me.

 

No pressure at all to open up. But if you feel like it, you might find it healing and some people could better relate to what is crippling you.  You'd be surprised at what people actually go through which can help you better understand your situation. 

 

You probably feel trapped in this cycle of events and emotions right now, leaving you feeling desperate and frustrated, but just know there is hope. 

 

 

Re: no sleep all year

@Maggie thank you, do i need to us the @ to reply or can i do so without the @?

Re: no sleep all year

Hi all - nice to meet you all @Surfer37 @Snowie @Maggie it was really nice to read your replies and feel that other people have been where I am or understand this horrible feeling of being misunderstood.

I have a fear of getting into my bed and sometimes have slept on chairs or in the couch - and when I do sleep I feel like the horrible things I'm escaping from in my life which have caused my PTSD... I feel like they're back in the present.

I feel like no GP really understands this. I'm just told to excercise and on the few times I've called BeyondBlue I'm told to do mindfulness.
I feel so embarrassed by my weird disorder which isn't quite insomnia, and i feel very isolated and strange because of it. When I tell ppl I think it's just an odd thing unique to me that they have no frame of reference to understand it.

I know ppl struggle on occasion to sleep but for me this is all year, and it's not one off night, but every night. It is driving me mad.

Re: no sleep all year

@EternalFlower 

 

Thanks for sharing your story. 
It's always challenging when you can't sleep and I can relate to the feeling of sleeping when been exhausted.

 

Have you considered seeing a psychologist rather than just a GP? A psychologist can look at strategies and also Cognitive Behaviour Therapy or talking therapy which may help you chat with someone what the underlying issues are and some strategies on how to move forward in your recovery to help you get some sleep and feel safe.

Re: no sleep all year

hello @jem80 i hope things are well with u....

i see a social worker for pyschotherapy... it's been about 2 months or so.
I have also stayed in-patient, and am lookig for a psychiatrst.
I haven't tried CBT so much but practised ACT at hospital and am interested in triallig some DBT.

I have PTSD and have had a pretty horrible life with tonnes of trauma, seems to have all been coming out through my poor sleep

U make some good points that GPs cant fix mental health issues necessarily, they just kind of refer.
Nothing i've tried nor anyone i've spoken to has given me any hope that I can improve my current situation, unfortunately. Thanks for coming by!

Re: no sleep all year

Hi @EternalFlower,

 

What you are going through does sound extreme and debilitating, especially that it's been a daily, recurring scenario depriving you of sleep.  It must be agonising you poor thing. 

 

Since you are experiencing something so traumatic every night, the fear and anxiety you feel as night approaches, I'd imagine would escalate. That anxiety and fear of what's to come would be triggering so much trauma, then the trauma turns into real scenarios playing out in your mind. Sorry, I'm just trying to put myself in your shoes imagining a sense of the cycle of events, so correct me if I'm wrong. 

 

My understanding of trauma and triggers is that it is very easy to become overwhelmed and fearful of what is pumped through our minds.  Which can trap us in a very traumatic, anxious, fearful state. 

 

With triggers, I think daily habits play a part in creating and breaking some of these triggers. You may not even realise what triggers you, but things as simple as moving furniture in your bedroom, changing the blinds, creating a lighter environment are beneficial.  Clearing, organising and changing your environment can work wonders. Even creating smells with candles and oils. I've seen this before with people I've helped that have had schizophrenia, anxiety tics, depression, trauma triggers, etc.  This works for myself too.

 

I wasn't getting the sleep I needed either and this played a major, major role in my decline. Sleep is the most important repair that every GP should be recommending 1st and giving you tools to ensure good sleep repair.  I'm on an anti-psychotic sedative, it's working really well for sleep repair and because I'm getting sleep, my mind is repairing well through the day. I'm still recovering, but the benefits of sleep have been improving my situation daily.  I'm not suggesting and anti-psychotic, but a good sleeping tablet (if you haven't already tried) will knock you out. I take it an hour before bedtime so I become drowsy and look forward to sleeping. Don't take it too late because the thoughts can start running and sometimes I've thought my way though the meds effects not getting the hours of sleep I need.  You may have tried this already, I'm just throwing out suggestions until you can get proper medical guidance. 

 

As real as our mind makes things appear, just know that they are not reality.  Our mind is so powerful at influencing our day to day life. So when we aren't in control of our minds at times, the results can be catastrophic. Please remember through that our will is the most powerful thing we have, more powerful than what runs through our minds. Sometimes we can't get the medical or psychological help we need at the time we need it, honestly it takes a while to get the right help. This means we have to work on ourselves the best we can in the meantime. You've done exactly that by reaching out here and seeking some kind of help and guidance. 

 

It's hard to know everything that goes into your daily cycle, but I hope I've managed to relate a bit with your problems. The stage of seeking help when in crisis leaves us feeling most desperate and desolate, but please know that there is always a way out of our troubles. Sooner or later we find the right help. Keep reaching out, keep seeing mental health professionals, keep talking to the right people. Talking and relating can be the most healing at times. 

 

I really hope your situation improves, I was feeling for you last night! 

 

Also, the biggest tool I use to keep my mind distracted from turning life into negatives, is music. I listen to it from when I wake up, through the day, as I fall asleep. This with positve, constructive podcasts feeds my mind with the right stuff. Just implementing nice, nostalgic music at night that takes you back to good times in your life can change a mindset, creating calm. I guage each night. If I'm feeling low and depressed, I'll even put a podcast of constructive positivity on, it literally feeds my mind the good stuff and I drift off pretty quickly. If your past is not nostalgic, then maybe music that helps you dream of a better future may be more beneficial.  Silence can be a killer, the mind wonders so much. Music throughout the day and evening literally creates atmosphere which can transform our moods and habits through the day. A daily task can become fun because the music takes the mind to a nice place. I use music with the kids everyday and to put them to sleep, it is the most effective tool I could possibly use. Sounds bizarre, but along with sleep, I would say music for me and my family is most important.

 

Again, sorry if this doesn't help, I thought I just share some knowledge and tools from my experience and what has helped bring me and my family to a better stage in life.  

 

It will get better!💜

 

 

 

 

Re: no sleep all year

Hi there @EternalFlower and @Surfer37 ,

 

What an excellently though out, detailed and highly supportive post @Surfer37 !


Agreed that sleep is so important and I understand how frustrating it can be not to be able to get enough, and as you say, how it can affect someone greatly. Just want to add to your post that at times Drs can provide dosage plans for sleep medication for periods when their patients can’t sleep, however, if you don’t have this from your doctor, please be very cautious if using this sort of medication, even if you have done this before, as this can be very risky without medical guidance and we don’t recommend it.

 

Wishing you both the very best and hoping you are well,

 

Otter

Hi there
Sleep is so important and I
understand how frustrating it can
be not to be able to get enough. I
noticed you said you were going
to <insert their comment>. I know
at times Drs can provide dosage
plans for times when their
patients can’t sleep, however, if
you don’t have this from your Dr,
please be very cautious, even
you have done this before, as this
can be very risky and we don’t
recommend it.
Please take care
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