Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[countrymum]

I  have tried so hard for 17 years to be a good mother to my son with sz, I now no I cant help him as I have lost myself and my family doing so. I have gone to many meetings feel so guilty and ended up in hospital yesterday wanting to ended it all. I have became so full of self pity and blame and taken so much abuse from my son telling me i am the mental one that i ended up believing it.All i have done for all thoes years is feed him with money to take drugs and achole believing he did not. His anger with the world would be taken out on me, i could not understand why he did not love me and how he could hurt the one who cared so much for him, I now have to let him go as I have failed him and myself.and what a weak way out I was going to take.I could not see no light at the end of the tunnel for him or my self but worst of all I did not think of my 4 other children or there sorrow. I hope that by writing this i may help someone understand the difference between tough love and selfpity. I will be there for my son one day when he does the right thing by taking his meds and gets of drugs. I no now  That u all should take care of yourself first as you can not help anyone else until then.

[NikNik]

Hi countrymum,

What a profound message you have offered us. It sounds like you are such a loving mother and just wanted to do all you could for your son. I can't imagine how hard it must be to show 'tough love'. I'm sure it's something other carers struggle with, espeicially when the person we love doesn't want to get help.

I was struck to hear that you were in hospital only yesterday. Have you got ongoing support to continue your self care?

Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

Take care,

NikNik

[Alessandra1992]

Country Mum, thank you. And good on you for getting help when you needed it. I don't think it is ever weak to go to hospital. Ever. So please credit yourself for taking that positive action for you. Your son will hopefully find his path but it think you have set a positive example about getting help when you needed it..

[Baboo]

Hello countrymum,

17 years of supporting a loved one is fantastic. Some times we need to remind our self of how much of a good job we have done and for how long. You supporting your self as well is so very important. Self care steps can be small ones. Going to hospital I think was a good idea aswell.

What is some good things you thing you have done with supporting your sons journey?

[NikNik]

Hi @countrymum 

I was just thinking of you & thought I might check in to see how you're doing.

Hope you're doing well.

Nik