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Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

If we are treated as if we don't count when we are children then I think we put ourselves last when we are adults

 

I certainly started out that way but we do need to consider ourselves as a valuable person in our current families - 

 

We need to treat ourselves well to be in a position of treating others long term and if you are a carer then it's really necessary to have self-care and you more than just deserve it - you need it to be able to cope with all the situations that crop up being a carer.

 

I didn't consider myself as a carer when my son was around but that's what I was doing - being his carer - and if I hadn't learned to put myself first I don't think I would have lasted the duration as long as I did. I felt as if I was being really selfish at times but I was drained - and the way I coped was by going back to school and completely my eduation and I was told by so many people I was doing the wrong thing but where are those nay-sayers today - the people in my life then are not around now and I have my degree and my self-esteem

 

It was hard though - I often wonder now if being abused physicall, emotional or sexually when we are children causes us to have low self-esteem or whether it's because we are small and helpless and need everything done for us when we are small - we are not given a place of value when it comes to decisions and we are even told what to wear when we go to school - sent to Sunday School too - wearing our best clothes which we didn't choose - 

 

I guess nearly everyone wore hand-me-downs - that doesn't help with our self-esteem either

 

My mother was into physical and emotional abuse and kept it up through my lifetime which is why we didn't see each other for years - I kept away for my Mental Health - 

 

A good programme was on TV last night - on Insight - it was about estranged families - it was eerie sitting their listening to other people's stories. The stories of family breakdowns was familar even though the circumstances. I will post what time it is shown again at the weekend

 

Dec

 

@Shaz51 @Former-Member 

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

you are totally right @Smc 

thank you for that tip

I can see why i did not become a carer for mum

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

ohhh @Owlunar , @Former-Member , @Maggie , @Smc , @Appleblossom , @Determined , @Former-Member , @Adge 

ohhhh what a day !!!!!!!!

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

ohhh @Dec , @Darcy , @Maggie , @Smc , @Appleblossom , @Determined , @Sherry , @Adge , @Faith-and-Hope , @outlander , @greenpea , @Jacques ,what a day xx

today mr shaz is focusing on what family members are saying or imagining what they are saying  Smiley Sad

it is golly hard Smiley Sad

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Oh @Shaz51  that does sound hard. Can you get away for a little while. Outside with the birds and trees, a cup of tea/coffee?

Hearing your weary post. 💜💕💜

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

thanks for being with me my @Maggie HeartHeart

cooking dinner now but soo glad you are here xoxo

how are you today

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

A rough ride today @Shaz51  but tomorrow is another day. What’s for dinner 😁😁 ?

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

chicken kebabs on rice  my @Maggie Smiley Very HappyHeart

yes tomorrow is another day xoxo

what are you having xxxx

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Cuppa soup @Shaz51 .

Are you going to put your feet up after dinner? Pleeese say yes. 💕💜💕

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

@Shaz51    `today Mr Shaz is focusing on what family members are saying or imagining what they are saying  Smiley Sad

it is golly hard Smiley Sad`

 

While things are ok. for us at the moment in this area I feel your pain.

This has been an area of anxiety for darling over the years no matter how irrational her thoughts were  Smiley Sad

I have often felt as thought I was being made to choose between family and darling (both sides as bad as each other).

Trust this passes quickly for you. 

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