Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

You should be too @CheerBear That is no little thing you have done - you stood up for yourself and your rights and it is wonderful that you not only won but did it on your own ...smile away CB because you have done something so scary but the outcome is wonderful. I am very, very impressed and a lot relieved for you 

[CheerBear]

Thanks again @Zoe7 😊❤

Feels like ages since we caught up (since I've caught up with most forumites 😏). Hope the holidays are going well for you and you're enjoying some time out ❤

[Zoe7]

It has been ages @CheerBear  but lovely to catch you today 

The holidays are going well - I am getting a lot done which is great. Spent yesterday sewing things that have been left for sometime to do ...finished most of it - just have a pillow for the car for Toby to do but need to measure up the seat first. It is raining here this afternoon so that will have to wait.

I began sorting out my spare room with all my school stuff in it today ...having little breaks then getting back to it. There is a lot to do but I think I can get it done in the next few days.

My sister is also moving house so I have said call me whenever she needs help ...my stuff can wait if she needs help. Will likely be tomorrow if she gets enough packed today ...mostly cleaning after that. 

I plan on having everything sorted by next week then I can enjoy the tennis while I begin planning for the next couple of terms. There is not a lot I can do straight away until I actually get there but hoping to visit next week also and see what needs to be done in the classroom before the kids arrive.

Of course I am enjoying being home with my fur babies. Cat has to go back for her follow up ultrasound but her vet is away until we go back to school so I will have to book her in for that week. Not having a day off this year will mean a later appointment but I am not too far from home so it shouldn't be an issue. They are open until 7pm weekdays but I am not sure what time the specialist that does the ultrasounds is there until - will find that out I guess when I call them.

Toby is his usual snuggly, shadowy self. I take him everywhere also - so today I ignored the No Dogs sign at a shopping centre and carried him in to pick up a package ...there was no way I was going to leave him in the car because it has been really warm today. The precious little thing layed his head on my shoulder and just sat in my arms ...so adorable. We then went to my sister's to drop off a plant and see if she needed help today ...she didn't because she was still packing but it was nice to visit anyway.

[Zoe7]

Hi @Maggie 

[CheerBear]

So nice to hear holidays are going well @Zoe7, though it sounds as if you've been busy. Sewing sounds so fun! That reminds me - Big and I crocheted some birds nests to send to wildlife rescue places (just like posted about in Craft Corner last week). Making stuff is often a great feeling 😊

Love hearing about Toby and Cat. I can see you carrying Toby around the shops and him snuggling in to you 😍

How are you feeling about sister moving (it's OK if you don't want to answer)? That sounds tough.

[Zoe7]

I made several pouches and dropped of at one of the collection places too @CheerBear Going to make more when I have the spare room done. I have 3 large boxes of material I will then be able to access. Most of the material I used was off-cuts I had stored in a bag and not enough there to make as many as I wanted to. They are going to need them ongoing for quite some time so the more they receive the better. I think it is so wonderful you and Big crocheted some birds nests ...every little bit no matter how big or small we can contribute will help. 👍

I am really sad about my sister moving - it has been so wonderful for so long having her so close. The unit she lived in prior to moving into her current house was 5 minutes away also. She will only be half an hour away but that is not close enough to just pop around ...or for her to do the same. She will be closer to my parents and that will be good for her as she is really involved in the horses but where she is is very isolating also and I worry about her being there with just her partner. He is being very nasty at the moment - selfish and only thinking about himself - I honestly do not know why my sister stays with him but that is her decision. I have had sometime to get used to it but it is still going to be hard. 

[CheerBear]

That's so nice to have made pouches @Zoe7 🙂 So many people helping out everywhere - it's awesome. "Look for the helpers" is something that sticks with me and that I've tried to teach my kids. It makes things feel a little less terrible when they're terrible I think.

I'm sorry about your sister, both her moving and the situation with her partner. I know what it's like to have people who were once close not be so "drop by" close anymore. It's a loss for you (and her). There are lots of reasons your sister might be staying (as you know). I just don't know or get why some people are so nasty 🙁 That sucks lots and would be hard for you to see but not be able to do much with.

[Zoe7]

Yes we both know why people 'stay' @CheerBear When my sister first got engaged I was the last person she told in the family ...she knew what my reaction would be. I had seen the worst of him already - directed at the time at me - and very much knew his 'type' but she assured me she would walk away if she needed to - I had to take her at her word but that never eventuated. They have been together for over 10 years and he has given up drinking and drugs - but he is still a selfish and verbally abusive person when he wants to be. My sister doesn't help with the way she speaks to him also sometimes but he is just nasty with what he says to her.

"Look for the helpers" is a lovely thing to teach your kids ...and a lovely way to find like-minded people CB. I have never heard that before but definitely rings true. It is hard to know what we can do when things are so tough everywhere but if it is as simple as donating a little money (for those that can spare some) or making pouches/bird nests etc. with the resources we have available to us then it lessens that feeling of helplessness in the face of tragedy. I cannot imagine what people in the fire areas are going through nor the massive loss of our wildlife - and so many injured and needing constant care ...it is heartbreaking to think about. 

[CheerBear]

That would be very tough @Zoe7  and potentially quite triggering for you. I'm imagining she would know you'd be there if she needs and that you'd be understanding and supportive. That would help a lot

Usually I'd do a bit of looking in to who I was quoting before I shared but I just like this one a lot. The world is scary and this feels comforting.

Hugs (lots of em) ❤

[Zoe7]

I love that quote @CheerBear - going to print it out and stick on the inside of my diary 

It can be quite triggering at times but I have simply left before when things are getting tense or nasty ...especially if it is coming from both sides. I do not need that in my life and although I would be there for my sister if she needs, I also will not enable the behaviour by turning a blind eye nor have it affect me so negatively either. It is her choice to continue with the relationship and whilst I listen to her when she is upset I won't put myself in the middle of it all. I have at times tried to diffuse the situation (and a few times defended her partner) but on the whole I simply walk away - because I have had enough of that in my life and it really affects me (and puts me in a bad headspace) - as you could imagine.

Lots and lots of hugs back to you CB. Going to head off for a while and get dinner and do a little more sorting out. Lovely to have this catch up today Hon ...and again - congratulations on your massive win and for being so courageous along the way ..you did that CB - so proud of you