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Former-Member
Not applicable

Some people came to my door

I just had a couple of people come to my door trying to sign me up to a charity. They almost convinced me to sign up, but I started to get anxious. They kept trying to sign me up for a monthly donation, but I basically said, look, sorry, I do not have the funds to afford to commit to a monthly plan. Still, they started to fish for more information which made me anxious, and I eventually said I was on the DSP, and they asked me what for, and I said I have schizophrenia. They backed off and apologized for bothering me, and went on to the next house. I hate using my mental illness like that. Still, I get anxious when I am being solicited for money because I tend to be rather compassionate and want to support every cause, which has lead to a lot of financial strife in the past. The thing is, I know the spiel, as I used to work for a large charitable corporation before I became unwell, and I know these people work on commission. They have a well-rehearsed pitch which can be very persuasive, and it doesn't really matter what charity they are representing at the time as there is a basic structure that they all follow. I also know how disillusioned it can make you when you believe in a great cause and you keep getting rejected over and over. Eventually, if you choose to stay with the charity, you do not rely on peoples sense of altruism but rather refine your salesmanship skills. 

5 REPLIES 5

Re: Some people came to my door

Hi @Former-Member ,

 

I can relate to your distress in that sort of situation. For me, it wasn't a face-to-face encounter (that would've been devestating!), but one of those cold calls on the phone.

 

I already had major distress issues with answering the phone, but this time I managed to suck it up and pick up the reciever - only to be aggressively talked in to a donation for some charity I'd never had any previous contact with. I tried to get the guy to ask to talk to someone else, but he wouldn't. He wanted me to answer everything. It was over before I fully had time to figure out what had happened. I was just suddenly on the hook for giving $20 to perfect strangers. I know that's not a lot, but it's more about being trapped then it is about the money, you know?

 

Then I had to run around town trying to get a money order to pay it off (which I'd never done before), and I'm nervous and jittery the whole time because I'm trapped in a situation that I just don't want to be trapped in.

 

Anyway, after being bitten like that once, at least I'm now prepared for when those calls come again. Now I just give them other peoples' names. I know it's not the nicest thing to do; that it's just shifting my problems on to someone else; but it's not very nice invading another person's life unsolicited trying to squeeze money out of them, either.

 

Two wrongs don't make a right. But I suppose that, at the end of the day, I just need to know I have an escape plan so that I can breathe easy.

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Some people came to my door

I signed up for a course after being stopped by someone at a shopping centre.

 

I was anxious to get out of there, but I didn't know how, so I thought I would sign up just to get rid of the guy. Someone from the company called me up the next day asking me to come to an orientation, but I told them what happened, and the person on the other end said they totally understand. I think salespeople get in trouble if they get that kind of feedback super often. Persuasion might be important, but I think they also have to strike a balance. As in, it's part of their skill set.

 

Asking you why you're on the DSP was completely inappropriate. You weren't really using your mental illness as an excuse, because it wasn't your decision to bring it up.

Re: Some people came to my door

Situations like this used to make me so uncomfortable, I've learned to enjoy being a jerk if they don't take no for an answer.... Maybe not the most mature approach, but they knocked on my door and I make sure to say no in clear terms.  I'm happy to donate to causes I believe in, but I don't trust door to door anything, even if I believe in it.
I will admit I'm awkard even when I don't mean to be, but give them an inch they'll take a mile.  It becomes a challenge to see how quickly you can make them realise they're wasting their time as well as yours.  See how many times you can say No in a row, even when it makes absolutely no sense, or especially when it makes no sense.  If you're without reason they seem to give up pretty quickly.
As for the cold calls who don't take no for an answer, I just say "ok, let me grab someone for you" and put the phone down and see how long until they hang up.

Re: Some people came to my door

@Former-Member @Danzig @Former-Member @chibam  I had a similar thing happen to me just last week at the vet. I have a shakey hand due to medication. It was a new vet and he looked down at my hand and said something like why is your hand shaking. I was anxious as it was a new vet and my pet was scared. I said it was due to my injections and then quickly corrected myself and said it was my medications which give me shakey hand. Really it was none of his business.

Re: Some people came to my door

I had something similar happen to me at the dentists' recently - (new dentist) I was able to give her the name of my medication but she also wanted the name of my disorder, too - she explained it as being because the medicines caused dry mouth but knowing the medication name should have been enough for her, really. Next time I'll tell them I can't remember - I was only told the name of my psychiatric disability once so it's not something I should really be expected to remember and cough up all the time.
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