Skip to main content
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Our stories

Crazy_Bug_Lady
Senior Contributor

Recently Diagnosed

Hi All,

Not sure where to post this so please forgive me if I'm doing it wrong.

I'm new to this forum, and I've never actually posted in any forum/public board before so this is a bit nerve-wracking for me. Smiley Tongue

I've had trouble withi feeling worthless/depressed/nervous for as long as I can remember, and I've had problems on and off with self harm and suicidal ideation. I had to see a GP late 2013 due to an infected SH injury, and the doctor was (thankfully) smart and put it all together. He encouraged me to begin seeing a psychologist, and eventually start antidepressants, which has helped a bit.

A few weeks ago the GP sent me to a Psychiatrist for an assessment. The Psychiatrist finished the appointment by telling me she will send the report back to the GP, she wants me to have a blood test, a CAT scan and she believes I have Borderline Personality Disorder and Social Anxiety.

SA is a no-brainer, but I'm kinda questioning the BPD diagnosis as I don't really relate to the traits listed on websites such as impulsive/risky behaviour and anger/mood swings.

I relate far more to the traits listed for Avoidant Personality Disorder...

 

So I have a few questions...

1) The Psychiatrist hasn't sent the report to my GP yet. Has anyone had a Psychiatric Assessment done, and how long did it take to get back to your GP??

2) Why does she want me to have a CAT scan?

3) Could those with experience with BPD let me know what they experience??

 

Sorry for the long post.... Smiley Embarassed

33 REPLIES 33

Re: Recently Diagnosed

Hello @Crazy_Bug_Lady 

It takes a lot of courage contributing your first post. It's like walking into room full of strangers and telling them about yourself. You did a great job!

Finding your way through a diagnosis can be confusing. It's hard to know if they're right, and it can be hard to make sense of. I also think it can be overwhelming when getting assessed. I find in these situations writing down questions and conerns beforehand really helpful.

We've got a few members with a diagnosis of BPD that might be able to answer your question. @shanc and @dwoods77 were recently diagnosed. You can view her/his posts here and here

Also @chemonro @Ellie @Chris @isabella and @BlueButterfly50 might be able to provide some answers to your questions.

'See' you around the Forums Smiley Happy

Re: Recently Diagnosed

@Crazy_Bug_Lady 

Hello and wecome, The first post is always the trickiest, i found it quite over whelming when i first joined, but now it is like a second home, everyone i have met here is really supportive and i have learnt alot from so many different people.

It's a good thing your G.P put two and two together to help you, i have seen a couple of different psychiatrists, the first one i didn't get along with.

the second one was much better, it took him about 2 weeks to send his report throgugh to my G.P, i have bi-polar , generalised anxiety, severe depression, and i will need to be re-assesed in regards to possible mood disorder, they are leaning towards BPD for me.

with regards to the traits, i believe they are the common standouts they look for, but each indervidual one has alot of others signs they look for, impulsive risky behaviour, i found with me i am super impulsive, i used to gamble alot, buy random things, that i couldn't afford really, drink too much, i was a drug user, i have to be carefule when i drive to not drive to recklessly, eg speeding, running red lights etc, i have alot of suicidal thoughts and idealations, and Self harm, i also have trouble with control my moods, but that is was more down to me not being medicated for bi-polar.

my first psychiatrist got me to have a cat scan, he wanted to check to see if my brain was having seizures, or if there was any damage  to any parts..... he said it was routine, checks, but it didn't really make sense to me.

what i have found with my research/looking into things, avoidant personality disorder and BPD are actually fairly similar, from what i have read BPD is more commonly diagnosed in females, and avoidant is more diagnosed in males, but both can be had by either gender.

It sounds like you have a really good G.P, and psychologist, hopefully when the report comes through from the psychiatrist, you can ask your g.p and psychologist more direct questions relating to the report.

i am waiting to see my psychologist this week to discuss the report, having adjusted my meds with g.p and seeing what are with psychologist.

and don't ever worry about long postings 🙂

i hope i have helped answer a couple of your questions

Re: Recently Diagnosed

Thanks @CherryBomb.

It was (and still is) scary writing on here for everyone to see, but at the moment I am feeling so confused and alone so I figured I'd at least try this, and reach out to others for their experience. The only person IRL that I have openly talked to about this said I obviously don't have BPD (coz she had it blah blah) and changes the subject to talk about herself. .Smiley Frustrated

I think I'll feel a heap better once the GP gets the report and we can start actually doing something.

Writing down questions is a good idea. I will start doing that now so when I finally can go to the GP I can ask him everything.

Re: Recently Diagnosed

Thank you so much ,.

I didn't realise how alone and stressed I was feeling until I posted here. While this is completely terrifying for me (seeing my first post approved made me panic), it is so helpful seeing I am not alone in these feelings.

It's been a bit over two weeks since the appointment (wed 4th Feb), so I think I might try and ring the GP later next week if he still hasn't received it. If I can get the guts up to ring. 😛

Behaviour-wise, I am not a risky person. I SH and have thought about suicide but no risky behaviour otherwise. Which I suppose is why I'm a bit confused about the diagnosis, given that risky behaviour is a major trait.

I go to work, don't talk to people unless I know them, and am fairly sure they aren't gonna be grumpy with me. I go home. I don't really have any friends, and I don't go out other than work or my Sunday 'job' as a farm hand on a beef cattle stud.

 

Re: Recently Diagnosed

Hihi Buglady, welcome to the crazy throng. I appluad your courage and insight in seeking help. Two things to keep in mind with a diagnosis :

 

1. It doesn't  change who you are one bit. You are you, a label doesn't change that. 

 

2. A psychiatric diagnosis is only true if it is helpful. A label that makes you less well and less happy or means your needs are ignored is not helpful. 

 

That being said, often other people can have a clearer picture of us than we can have, just like there are parts of our own body that are difficult for us to see our reach, there are parts of our own mind and thinking that are difficult for us to access. Our own viewpoint gets in the way of examining ourself. 

You could do worse than to ask your doctor why they think this diagnosis would be helpful, and to identify the aspects of your life and experience which they feel may support it.

Diagnosis is an inexact science and there is a spectrum between mood disorders and personality disorders, if you ask me.  

Re: Recently Diagnosed

It is surprising isn't it, how much stress and that alone feeling that we get without even realising it, i really like the fact that it is anonymous, that is what got me over the fear of posting. I recently had to chase up my report, there was a mix up in fax numbers, i ended up ringing the psychiatrist and my g.p it took some effort but it is worth it, i know making the phone calls is daunting, but keep in mind, it is to get some headway in helping your wellness.

Perhaps there is more of an explanation regarding diagnosis, with the report?

feel free to ask questions, etc if people can answer, or give an idea or even support, or if you just need to have a ramble, it's all good, i ramble alot lol

 

Re: Recently Diagnosed

@chemonro@katoI will ask the GP about the BPD when I next see him. He said when I saw him last that he'd call me once he gets the report, and I can come in a grab a copy of it to read myself so we have both read it before I see him to put a plan in place.

He (the GP) wanted me to get this assessment done because I saw him just before Christmas last year due to a SH infection and I kinda blurted out that all I think about is killing myself and I am so useless everyone would be better off etc. He suggested this assessment basically to make sure he is treating me the right way (antidepressants and psychologist) and/or if there is a better way to go about treatment.

 

I know I've said it a few times already, but thank you all so much. This is making me feel so much better. I should have joined this forum moths ago 😛

Re: Recently Diagnosed

My path was a little different as initially it was thought in had depression so went and saw my GP and then a psychologist, which helped me but still not well and dealt with my issues with self harm. Then onto a psychiatrist who after 2 weeks diagnosed me with BPD. Lucky for me she is helpful and the only person I talk to as I see her as the only one who can truly help and understand. I would love supportive friends and family but don't have it.

It's a great start to come in these forums as the responses are from people that understand.

My lady said that to be diagnosed with BPD doesn't mean you cover all points listed and can be a mixture of all of them or parts. I don't drive like a crazy person but find relationships hard and manage to find dysfunctional ones.

My lady( psychiatrist) sent my GP a letter but now the only person I see her for medication and therapy is her and not GP. I would be nervous and anxious waiting for your GP so hope you end up calling.

The first psychiatrist I saw was a fruit loop who said the most random things and after 30 mins had a new pill for me to take. Never saw her again. Now this lady is great and the the most important thing I have worked out is having someone you trust to confuse in.

I hope some of this helps and you are in the right place for I formation in this forum.

Re: Recently Diagnosed

Hi There Crazy Bug Lady and I might add there's nothing wrong with bugs. I love 'em 🙂

It seems that you're rather fortunate in having a GP with a decent attitude towards the potential diagnosis of BPD. Mine is very old school (and in fact is closing in on retirement) and I had to practically shake him by the shift front to get him to tell me what was in the psych report. I was astounded by his remarks as to why I'd want to know, but I won't go into that now, however at one stage he looked bewildered and told me.... "You can't change your personality!" In that he may well be correct, however you can obtain those coping skills not learned in childhood for whatever reason, which can allow you to live with a diagnosis of BPD and function quite well in society.

Chermonro hit the nail on the head in saying that BPD is a spectrum disorder. One of the best organisations in Victoria which helps the worse of the worse sufferers of BPD isn't called "Spectrum" for no good reason. I also hold down a professional career and although it's become a bit shaky of late, I can still function and do my job very well. It's the staff I get crazy with, but the job kind of keeps me grounded. My psychiatrist told me I have BPD in the low to moderate spectrum of the disorder, although I know I peak to great heights at times when really unwell. I've had trouble all throughout my life, barely clinging to life at times and switching jobs at the rate of one every six months over the course of my working life. I also SH when feeling really bad.

The thing with BPD is that in a room of 200 sufferers, you won't find two with the exact same symptoms which is why it's so hard to diagnose accurately. If you take the nine criteria and multiply them by all possible combinations, the tally is 256, so it would be extremely rare to find two sufferers with identical symptoms. I suffer from severe social anxiety when in crowds, which causes me to zone out and literally bull-doze people out of my way in blind panic to escape. I'll then jump in my car and do some crazy driving in order to get home to my sanctuary where I can be alone. Sometimes that's not even enough and I have to ring my community psych team. I meet around 7 of the nine criteria, but they have lessened over the years as I'm getting on a bit. I used to meet all nine. My default setting is dysthymia, but I've felt really good since last Tuesday following a great meeting with my community TC (Treating Clinician) yet I'm now kind of waiting for the axe to fall and I'll crash. It always happens. It never fails!

As I suggested, your GP sounds like he really knows what he's doing, so always work with him and take his advice as to what meds to try. I was on anti-depressants for 12 months. I felt better mentally, but felt like a walking zombie almost the entire time. My psychiatrist has now taken me off them simply because I can be totally "don't-want-to-get-out-of-bed" depressed one day having a great time the next. I now take an anti-psychotic when required and a mood stabilise twice a day, yet even when I feel great I still feel this brooding darkness in side of me waiting to explode out of me, kind of like a building volcano. Most of the time I just feel numb. I have absolutely no sense of idenity and no vision of a future worth living.

I also have severe abandonment issues. E.G: If I text somebody and they don't answer back straight away, then I start to get so worked up that I can end up hating them and when they do finally text because they were actually busy or had no credit on their phone or whatever, then it takes me a long time to accept them again. I've only got a couple of friends. I know I'm hard work and I've scared the rest away over the years. I live alone so I don't bounce off people, but I hate being alone. This is definitely a horrible disorder!

Sorry for the lengthy reply, but thanks for being brave enough to post in the first place. You might have just taken the first steps in beating your condition, whether or not it proves to be BPD. Still, even if it proves not to be BPD, you can reclaim your life with the right help and I urge you to pursue that help. All the very best with it and if it is BPD and you live near Melbourne, there is a support group that meets in the city once a month. I found it amazing in that for once in my life I didn't feel alone in a room with people who I didn't know, but to whom I could relate to, even though our personal journeys were all different.

Kind regards,

Ellie.

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance