Lived Experience Forum

[LadyT]

Hi, I am new to this forum and have never posted on a forum on the internet ... go easy on me 🙂 I have suffered with depression and anxiety for well over 20 years (as an adult) and no doubt longer as a kid. I come in and out of it and various treatments have worked for a while. I just turned 41, I have 2 little kids and a great partner, but I'm feeling like I will never get better. I've got those old familiar feelings: "there's no point to anything", "they'd be better off without you", "you'll always feel like this". I know this is depression talking and I know it will pass but I am just so tired. I wish it would just go away. Thanks for letting me share. Lady T xo

[Former-Member]

Hi @LadyT

Welcome to the forums, I'm really glad that you are here! I have had depression for a long time too, and those things you're thinking are the same thoughts that i've had on and off over the years too. Im a single mum to two little ones too. A girl whos 7 and boy who's 4. They certainly keep me busy, which is often a good thing, as I can never just completely stop like the depression makes me think i need to!

Hope that these intense feelings do pass for you soon, and glad that you recognise that they will. If things did get worse for you though i hope that you would be able to tell your partner or phone life line. They've helped me so much in the past.

Take care of yourself,

LJ

[LadyT]

Thanks for your reply, that's very kind. I've got an appointment with a counsellor and my doctor. I'm trying to summon the energy to exericse again (it helps but god I hate it) and eat well (although I feel like eating an entire choclate cake) but I just wish I didn't have to worry about these things. You know? I have so much respect for you that you manage all this as a single mum - what an inspiration. I'm doing my best to be a good mum (I think I am...) but I feel like such a crap partner and friend at the moment. Nothing in the tank. Thanks, sharing helps. 

[Former-Member]

lol about the exercise thats me at the moment... and yet when i get into a routine and exercise all the time, i know i feel great!! its just getting the motivation and energy to start. Well done on making those appointments, hopefully they go well and you feel supported. I see a GP and a psychologist sometimes and it helps so much... just financial difficulties make it difficult to keep it regular but oh well! 

Not that i'm an expert on relationships but keep letting your partner know how you're going, that way they know how hard it is for you and can support you, sounds like you are doing lots to help yourself already, so hopefully the fog will be lifting a bit soon. Be nice to yourself, you're working really hard! I always think its kind of like dragging myself through a quick sand bog... its the only explanation i have for the bone weary tiredness that makes everything seem almost impossible! 

LJ

[LadyT]

Hi LJ, Yes, my partner does know and I'm lucky that he's very understanding. I know I am loving and good at taking care of him and my family, but I feel they deserve more. TMI but I have NO libido, I get easily irritable, I struggle with changes in routine and when I'm sad I'm very withdrawn. I try very hard to limit these things but sometimes, I just can't. I don't have any family support and that's hard. Maybe I'm just tired from working + kids (2 & 7) + life! I'll get there, just in a rough patch. Thanks for replying.  

[Appleblossom]

Hi @LadyT

Kids 2 and 7 .. No wonder you dont have lots in the tank.  We expect so much these days of mums.

Go easy on yourself.

This was my first real forum too.

Welcome.

[LadyT]

Very kind of you, thanks.

[catalytic]

I'm new here too, simillar story here..I have three young kids one only 6 weeks. I'm here because I'm struggling and I can't take it anymore. I'm only here  on earth because of my kids yet I feel like I'm failing them. I hope we can both get some support here, because I sure as hell aren't getting it from anywhere else either.

[Appleblossom]

Welcome @catalytic

A 6 week old baby is such a tiny human with so many needs.  Feel free to tell us more of your story when you are ready... or just read ...

[Former-Member]

Welcome @catalytic

Wow!! 6 weeks old, makes me feel so clucky!! Glad that you've found the forums and look forward to seeing you around the forums. Hope that your new addition is going well and things are settling in your household,

LJ