Lived Experience Forum

[Denv12]

The version of OCD I've been battling since 2006 is called Functional Impairment.It stops you looking after yourself and your hygiene.It changed the way I looked.I decided the day it started that the mongrel has to go.Its not going to stay around.I beat it.I win.

I had a variety of annoying rituals at set times.Its so disgusting.Excuse my lack of respect for disorders.

On top of that its what it stopped me doing.It messed up my every day life.It stopped me doing things at random.I could get around some problems if I got someone else to do things.I could order books online to a point.I'd go up to order summary and stop.My mum (who was my visiting carer) would take over and hit the "place order" button.Done.

Here are some of the things it stopped me doing:

shaving,trimming my hair,trimming my fingernails and toenails,changing my clothes,washing my clothes,couldnt maintain my computer by updating anti viurus,etc(I destroyed 2 computers in 6 years),Couldnt move items around my home,most things stayed where they were.I could use food and drinks stored in fridge/freezer,couldnt defrost freezer,newpapers and magazines that remained here got stacked up in the spaqre room.

The good news was I started making progress over 2 years ago,By October 2012 my progress hit the big time.Having cfs(chronic fatigue syndrome) meant I got puffed out quickly.I was making progress as soon as I got out of the bed.It took 4 recyle bins and 2 rubbish bins just to clean out the spare room of things.My home is the cleanest its ever been.My neighbours didnt know who I was when I started doing daily grooming things a little each day.

I look nothing like I used to.I look like the real me again.I didnt get depression at all.I did get frustrated a lot.Muscle testing is what is helping me since July 2009.My chiro of 5 years got me to a point.I just discovered pressure point diagrams and the progress continues.I'm healhier in my body because all the things I've been doing.

Just dont give up.You'll find things that help if you want.Look outside the usual things.You never know.

[-karma-]

Hi Denv12

I like that the personification you give the disorder, by calling it a 'mongrel'!

Your journey soounds like a tranformation...it must have been surreal experiencing it, as you write with such awareness.

I also like the advice you offer others, by encouraging them to try something new

[Denv12]

Hi.

Thank you for your kind thoughts.I'm grateful.

By giving it a name we can give it an identity that we can disrespect.I sometimes call it a cancer of the mind.No matter what I showed it no mercy in my attempts to get rid of it.

My mum(my carer at the time)saw me for the 1st time in 18 months.She herself had been through a health crisis of her own requiring heart surgery.I hadnt seen her until recently.She saw me and my home and couldnt comprehend the changes.

There are a few things that kept me going:

1)I dont get depression.

2)I never lost me.

3)I was out for revenge on ocd and I won.

4)Knowing that everything I've been doing is making my body healthier on the inside than ever before.

[Mrs_T]

Hello,

I'm new to this forum but not new to OCD.

I hate it with a passion.

Some days it wins, some days I win.

I've had it for a very long time and was in therapy for a couple of years.  I am no longer in therapy and haven't been for about 3 years now. I know I need to find help again as I am totally exhausted.

Thanks for reading.

[Denv12]

I understand how you feel.It was when my progress kicked in then I never looked back.Its hard to stay focus.I've been through all the experiences and I know what it feels like.Just dont give up.There are simple,free things we can do.I posted recently about what I'm doing on a daily basis.

[Shan]

Thank you for sharing this post. My partner went through quite a prolonged stage of functional impairment and is slowly improving. Her OCD has been to say the least almost completely debilitating, but we are not giving up hope. I am currently receiving chemotherapy for stage 4 aggressive non Hodgkin's lymphoma, but she is the one who is still struggling the most, as I am successfully powering through my treatment, however her OCD is still holding her at ransom. There is not a lot out there for OCD sufferers so I appreciate you guys telling your story or sharing your experiences.