Lived Experience Forum

[Srobe1976]

I have been looking for a new job for some time. I found out yesterday I have been offered a job as a teller with a bank 2 days a week (10 hours). This is my dream job! I can't believe I held it together for the interview. I currently have a job 7 hours per week in fashion retail.

As I dont start the bank for a month while they do background checks, I am anxious to the max. What if I dont pass the checks? What if I cant cope? Can I do 2 jobs? What if I let my current job go and the bank doesn't last?

My current job is not happy either because I wont be available one of my current rostered days. Honestly though after I buy compulsory work clothes each week and fuel I make nothing. Working another job takes the pressure off financially so I can afford to work in fashion, which I really enjoy. 

Am I setting myself up for a fall? How do I get past this? I'm scared I'm going to quit before I even start the bank, but this is the first job I've even been offered that is a real career path, and at 46 that doesn't happen often. Fashion retail in my rural area cannot offer more hour all year, only at xmas.

Thanks for listening.

[TuxedoCat]

Heya @Srobe1976 well done on getting a new job! That's massive! 

It sounds there is maybe a bit of change on the horizon and you're wondering if you can handle the changes. Is that right? I think that makes total sense if you're feeling a bit unsure and overwhelmed. Obviously it sucks to feel that way, but it's understandable ❤️ 

I'm wondering how you adjusted to starting your job in fashion? Maybe thinking about what you did to cope then could help now.

I also noticed there are a lot of "What if's" in what you posted. My brain also tries to think of all the possibilities! It can be really exhausting! What works for me is writing down all of the possibilities to get them out of my brain. Sometimes I even write potential solutions. Either way, it helps me slow down and take one step at a time ❤️ 

I also thought I'd tag some of our wonderful community guides who might have their own wisdom to share @Anastasia  @AussieRecharger  @BPDSurvivor  @Faith-and-Hope  @HenryX  @jem80  @Judi9877  @NatureLover  @outlander  @Shaz51  @ShiningStar  @Snowie  @Hams  @wellwellwellnez  @Zoe7  @Aniela  @Boo13 @maddison  @pinklollipop15  @Eve7 

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @Srobe1976 , it's good you've joined, where people can understand what you're going through. 

I can really hear your anxiety in your post. I have anxiety too, and it sucks!

I'm wondering what professional support you have for your anxiety, like meds, a trusted GP, a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist? 

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@Srobe1976 wrote:

Am I setting myself up for a fall? How do I get past this?

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I don't think you're setting yourself up for a fall. I think it's a good thing. Two days a week lets you also work in fashion, and also gives you more income. I reckon just let it happen. 

For many years I couldn't accept good things happening in my life - I was scared they'd be ripped away or that I'd sabotage them first. This was due to childhood (actually lifelong) severe emotional abuse. I thought I didn't deserve to be happy. I had to work hard over many years to start to accept good things in my life. I don't know if that's your situation, but what you wrote about "I'm scared I'm going to quit before I even start the bank" made me wonder, hence what I wrote. 

Good luck with it all, @Srobe1976 ...

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply. 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Srobe1976 , congratulations with the job offer! It’s great you can now have that little extra spending money. 

It’s probably better not to over stress about the background checks etc unless you know you have a record. 

Waiting for things is always the hard part. The butterflies flutter in your stomach; you find it hard to sleep; your eagerly await for THE DAY - then when it’s all over, you can take a breath.

When will it all be finalised and confirmed? All the best and I look forward to hearing from you about how you went.

[Srobe1976]

Thank you for your kind words. It is true I felt some anxiety when starting in fashion, but it was different. Two three hour days, usually afternoons so quiet. Yes there is pressure to sell, but in a rural town daily targets are low. Fashion is really about being nice to people. Having said that, i think my fashion role was valuable to get the bank offer. Bank though is about getting it right every time, on busy bank days. That is what freaks me out.

[Srobe1976]

Thank you. Its not a record, but a spotty history with so many jobs in short stints i left becauss my mental health tanked. They wanted every single one for 5 years, with gaps and reference checks. That is the worry. Bad reviews equals low score for recomendation to proceed with offer.

[tyme]

Hi @Srobe1976 ,

Great to see you back 🙂

Just a little hint, you can type "@" in front of someone's username so that they get a notification that you have replied to their post e.g. @Srobe1976 , @tyme 

All the best