Lived Experience Forum

[Cindy_Maurin]

I'm new to this forum and would like to share my story. I have just been diagnosed with PND (second child and second diagnosis) and Dr has prescribed anti depressant medication. I think I've had some degree of depression and or anxiety my whole adult life. This time I would like to see a counsellor as well as my husband and I are having difficulties. The more I think about it the more I think he too has had PND and is still struggling. His personality has completely changed. The kind caring man I fell in love with years ago has become withdrawn and angry with everyone. Compounding the situation he smokes weed every day. He has cut off friends and family, is highly critical of everyone and it's "everyone elses fault". 

He is carrying a lot of anger towards his brother who was a long term heroin user but is now well and clean. It's a burden that he carries though with the effect it had on the family for those years. A lot of his anger is due to the lack of support from everyone when he was diagnosed with depression about 5 years ago. He has only just started working again after being out of work for two years. 

I know I haven't been the best wife to him but I was also dealing with my dads three bouts of cancer and then his death. 

We had an argument recently where I tried to open up the conversation and I was told he's not interested in me or anyone and that I'm selfish, a poor communicator and always have been. 

I'm pretty upset at how things have ended up. He is quite stubborn and has made me feel this is up to me to fix/change. His family are worried about him. I don't want this to be the way things are, it's affecting my relationships with everyone. 

[Jupiter]

Hi @Cindy_Maurin, I'd like to welcome you to the forums!

Thanks for sharing your story - that's not an easy thing to do. It seems like things have been really difficult for you recently, being diagnosed with PND and having difficulties with your husband. I can imagine that seeing such a dramatic change in him would be so hard. 

There are others on the forums who have also had experiences with PND who I hope you connect with. Meanwhile, there are a few threads that discuss PND that you may be interested in checking out (here, here, and here)

Take care, Jupiter

[Former-Member]

Hi @Cindy_Maurin

Welcome to the forums. It sounds like you have been through a lot in the last few years and im sorry to hear about your dad. Im really glad to hear that you have reached out for support for the PND and that you are looking for some counselling as well. With so much going on I think a listening ear to help you with all of it is really important. How are you kids going? I have two children (both in primary school now) and a single mama, it can be really hard... and then adding depression on top is ... not so much fun. 

I was wondering if there was any possibility of your partner going to the GP with you and that maybe the gp could suggest couples counselling or individual counselling whether he'd be more open to that... But its also so tricky because you cant force him to get that sort of help or support though it sounds as though he does need it. 

Was also wondering if you've heard of PANDA? They provide support for postnatal depression and have a 'rep' here ( @PANDA ) they also have lots of info on their website. 

[PANDA]

Hi @Cindy_Maurin,

It sounds like you've had a lot to deal with lately, and I'm so glad you've been able to reach out for help through your doctor and seek support from others on the forum.

I can imagine that having a second child and dealing with PND for the second time hasn't been easy. I can also hear how much you want things to change.

It sounds like it might be helpful to give us a call on the PANDA Helpline so you can talk through what's been going on in more detail. We can offer ongoing telephone counselling, link you in with local services and give you a place to process some of the challenges in your life right now.

We talk to mums and dads every day who are dealing with relationship difficulties while trying to manage their own mental health and meet their childrens' needs....definitely not an easy thing to do. 

If you'd like to chat with one of our counsellors please just give us a call on 1300 726 306 (Mon-Fri 9am-7.30pm AEDT). 

We hope to be able to speak with you @Cindy_Maurin.

Best wishes,
The PANDA Team.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Cindy_Maurin how are you going? Hope things are okish in your world. Just wanted to say hi 🙂 Take care