Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

Checking in @Carlachris

[Carlachris]

Hi there, Thankyou for checking in. We are in a really good headspace at the moment. I know it won’t last but am enjoying having my lovely man with me again. It’s a huge relief to be off the rollercoaster even just for a few days, weeks. The new psych is working out well and has been able to take a different path into the trauma behind the MI. The steps he is taking are enourmous. Leaping into the past such a hard thing to do. For now looking for the warning signs of distress but all is calm and stable. I am able to sketch and paint again without the Black looming over my shoulder ready to pounce.

sunshine to everyone. And Ty. 

[Shaz51]

thank you for the update @Carlachris , keep in touch , walking with you my friend

[Former-Member]

@Carlachris
Checking in.

[Carlachris]

A few wobbles raising the stress levels but hopefully nothing significant on the immediate horizon. Cross fingers etc. the new psych seems to be helpful such a relief for him as well as me. Ever looking for the warning signs. I know the pattern well. Sensitive to noise is often the first and an obsession with FB. Such an awful arena when unwell. I Hope everyone is holding strong and managing to live a life of their own amongst the unusual of our loved ones. Hugs and sunshine . X

[Former-Member]

Quick check in @Carlachris

[Carlachris]

Thank you Darcy, a few cracks appearing, feeling overwhelmed with being the “Everything”. I become Second fiddle to FACEBOOK which will become the focus of his paranoia AGAIN. I know the pattern. All I can do is watch and wait and feel helpless whilst being suffocated with his angst and intensity. I have been here before many times. His new counsellor is good for him but not enough as yet. Early days. Not looking forward to Mother’s Day as we will be visiting his Elderly narrsassistic mother who is a direct Trigger. We have avoided her for 3 yrs but she is frail and 89 lives 6 hrs away. I know we are in for at least 10 days of dreadfulness after a half hour visit. Long way to go to be hurt and rejected. Then a longgggg drive home. I live in hope that it won’t be as bad as I feel. There’s hope but not much reality. I wish I wish. I can only wish. Hugs and sunshine.

[Former-Member]

Oh dear @Carlachris
It would be good if there was some protective emotional armour you could don before visiting MIL.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Carlachris
How are you,?

[Carlachris]

And so it begins. (Cry). The selfish spoilt brat behavior, the inability to buy and pay for a loaf of bread without being argumentative with the shop assistant. The constant political commentary at the TV to the point of I just can’t watch anything anymore. If I do he interrupts and is unpleasant to me. Why do I need to watch TV? Insecurity, over apologetic, over sensitivity. Hates everyone, ...The cycle has started again. I must start living my married life as if he isn’t there anymore because I am interrupting his online FB commenting which he thinks is writing. He hasn’t been on FB for months but as soon as the cracks appear he opens his account again and they feed off each other judging, criticizing and degrading anyone for not being a communist, socialist, left, right, who knows who cares? Blah, blah, blah, blah.......I get it I really do protesting injustice is important but getting involved with Auschwits Jewish rights and involved in American Trump crap isn’t a healthy place for the mind. We are not Jewish or American but his Acedemic mind wants to Argue and be destructive online. Think I will turn it off for a few days and tell him the NBN is to blame. I am trying all my usual things but am running out of physical strength and emotional. Doing all I do but have to now go through the MI till it relents again. I’m so tired. So very very tired. Thank you Darcy for checking in. I’m hoping and sending good thoughts to all. X