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Toki
Contributor

Manipulation vent

So I have this problem...

My relative(old, sweet woman) has been having her issues. And I try to be supportive by listening and letting her talk(she is usually the one to listen and nod when other people come to her, so she has to have her time). But she can be a little... overreact to a situation. Even when the situation is tame. Aside from that, I really just try to show that I am a support for her(even to the point of irrationality at times. Her nervous tendencies, anxiety and other stuff make her really paranoid). She's all there(no loose wires). But here's what gets me: any drama. literally any. drama. she gets herself invovled in. Does it matter that it's my drama, or someone else's drama? No. So if she knows, or comes across info that contains even a smudge of dramatic tones inside it, she will go gung ho! with the info, and proceed to max it out (with all the potential it has), to everyone she talks to(whether she knows them or not). Will she leave out any details to her friends? To her church associates? To the flipping grocery guy? Nope. She says it all, whether it is factual or not(like rumors are). And that makes me. incredible angry.. Then I have random people coming up to me, either in sympathy or pity(she likes a good sob story;apparently her family has a good enough one). In short, she keeps her problems to herself, but likes to share ours(me and my family's) to everyone she knows. I've had it, but she is mentally unbalanced, so I feel bad for her and don't hold her accountable for it. Her family doesn't hold her accountable for it either. I'm afraid she might mentally shut down if I do confront her with it. She draws into herself if anyone objects to her opinions, confronts her about something, or appears to be mad at her. She's had her rough patches, but this really bothers me and nothing will get accomplished if we pretend it didn't happen. I don't want to continue on like this... I'm just not sure what to do.

Toki

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Manipulation vent

Hello @Toki

That sounds difficult if your relative is struggling herself with oversharing and getting involved in unnessary drama due to he rmental health issues, I am wondering whether she is aware of what she is doing so she takes some responsibility for it, have you ever told her how she makes you feel when she tells strangers your private details? Or do you find that being careful with what you share with her is your only option?

 

 

 

Re: Manipulation vent

At times, being careful is my only option. But I guess it's true that I have to tell her my feelings about what she does.

Re: Manipulation vent

Hello @Toki

How is the situation going with your relative, has anything changed? Did you get a chance to tell her how she makes you feel?

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