Lived Experience Forum

[hanami]

Hi @BlueBay 

Wow, what a big day you had yesterday. 

How are you feeling today about it all. 

So tough but I think you've done the right thing.

Sending hugs

Hanami

[BlueBay]

hey @hanami 

my feelings this morning are:

scared

anxious

relieved

overwhelmed

I really want to tell someone my story and for them to believe me.

i know i will be a mess, i am now

so i am not sure how i will cope on thursday

i am waiting for my dr to call back to see if i can see him before thursday

i have even emailed my psych to see if i can see her tomorrow

i know on friday i have support from victims of crime support (my case worker) and also seeing my new psychologist friday afternoon

hubby said he will drive me; it's about 45 mins to get there

lots of flashbacks are coming back; details of the abuse

i am scared

[BlueBay]

i have just received an email from my psych saying she will see me tomorrow at 2pm.

i am relieved now that i can chat to her before thursday.

@hanami @Bow @Gwynn @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @FloatingFeather 

[Snowie]

@BlueBay you have a lot more strength and courage than I have.

Well done on just getting this far hon. It certainly wouldn't be an easy process to go through.

Here for you through all of this 💌

[MDT]

Hey @BlueBay
Thank you for including me in your post

This is an important decision you have made.

I do sincerely hope that you find closure by doing this.

I pray that you will find it brings closure .

Your friend
Hams

[BlueBay]

thanks so much my friends @MDT @Snowie xxxxxxx

[Gwynn]

Do you have something planned on after your testimonial appointment to help soothe you?

I had to make a formal complaint about my former psychologist and afterwards, I went and got junk food and phoned my friend and that helped bring me back to earth after the stress of that appointment.

[BlueBay]

@MDT @Snowie @hanami @Bow @Gwynn @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @FloatingFeather @Eve7 @oceangirl @BPDSurvivor 

the tears are flowing

the nerves are kicking in

for i am scared

of what will be

it is the end of one part

and he can never hurt me anymore

for he has gone out of my life

and there won't be any rife

i still can't believe all this has happened to me; abused by 3 different perpertrators

inappropriately touched in primary school while playing at school

stalked and inappropriately touched by a man on a train while going to work

all the above happened to me from the ages of 8-20 yrs old.

why?

how do these sick people get away with it

right now the emotions are huge

i am sitting here and the tears are just coming

i don't know if i can do it

i am scared

what if i don't cope afterwards

i am home alone tonight.  no one is home.

flashbacks are horrible. just horrible.

[Gwynn]

Oh BlueBay, here with you as the past washes over you. 

Can you try a grounding exercise? 

[MDT]

@BlueBay

Hearing you my friend