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Just need to share

My adult daughter with bipolar and some psychosis has attempted suicide a few times...twice this year. I haven't really been coping since she told me of the last one a couple of weeks ago. She's been up in Sydney for a few days and it's been pretty intense..she's very very depressed. I'm fearful that she is planning suicide as she made a huge effort to see everyone..she said in case she suicides. She's compliant with meds and sees professionals..I'm thinking I'm going to get a message to her psychiatrist though if he tells her it's from me she will be very angry. I'm very aware that if she decides to do it  then she will. I'm constantly checking on her , my anxiety and blood pressure are through the roof...it's even hard to breathe with the anxiety..2 days now that I couldn't work. Trying to stay in the now..one day at a time..I know she'll be safe for next two days. Sorry ..not up to talking to anyone..but it helps to share

8 REPLIES 8

Re: Just need to share

Sending very gentle thoughts your way @Happier , a difficult time for everyone. I encourage you to send the message to her pdoc. 

Re: Just need to share

We're sorry to hear that you are going through this @Happier and it's understandable that it is impacting yourself as well. You may find this factsheet from SANE on how to help someone in a crisis, helpful, especially when looking for some extra support. Additionally, the Suicide Callback Service has an app called ReMinder, which will help you and your daughter create and access a safety plan. 

 

It does help to share. Please look after yourself and come back here to tell us how you are going. Heart

Re: Just need to share

sending well wishes to you @Happier
its ok that your not up for talking but well done for sharing what is happening for you

Re: Just need to share

Hi - it's a hard thing to do, but probably important to let your daughter's doctor know what is going on. Hopefully your part can be kept under wraps. I have had to do a similar thing - it was very tough, but ultimately, I knew my child needed help and there was only one place it could come from. I would not hesitate to do it again. Best of luck.

Re: Just need to share

Hi I hope this helps its my first post - I was looking for some guidance myself on some issues such as yours with my eldest son.(31) Who has in the past attempted suicde. Only to be found by chance and rescued some years ago by my wife and daughter. Its been 10 years now he has been affected by his condition. For the first 7 years we did not know ourselves what was going on.

 

What I did:When this was unfolding and at that time he was placed in state care and under the care of the Public Trustee. I then applied to the State Administritive Tribunal of WA. For Guardianship and Administraitive control of him and his affairs

My son was put on a Community Treatment Order at our request and supported by his treating doctor and receives a monthly injection now to keep his condition under control.

 

He is diagnosed as Manic Bipola Schizoid affected. With paranoid sphycosis.

He recently suffered a relapse, however he actually recognised for the first time he was not well. He has since had his medication increased. He seemed to relapse after a series of relationship setbacks in a close period of time 4 months that triggered this latest event. 

 

3 years on the "CTO" and monthly injections seem to have given him time to gain an insight slightly to his condition.

 

For this to happen I needed the support of his treating doctor - The Public trustee and the State administritive tribual officer. I will soon be applying for another 5 year order.

I believe without the "Court Ordered" monthly injections and the CTO in place we would have lost him some time ago.

 

Things we do often anfd regularly together - Work in his veggie garden. Go to the local swimming pool and spa.

 

A Father son trip once a year. usually a week away somewhere he chooses. Just hanging out, eating having a couple of drinks swimming, spa's nothing to arduous but trying to laugh at life. I also stay over his house when he has custody of his 2 sons and cook meals with him for them and look for pocket money jobs to keep them occupied .

 

Always remember to take time for yourself to relax and recharge. I swim and spend time in the steam room to relax and keep a bit of the healthy life in balance along with good sleep patterns.

 

Hope it helps 

Regards

Sole

Re: Just need to share

Welcome to the Forums @Sole and thank you so much for sharing your story here. It sounds like you and your family have had quite a journey but it's great to hear that your son got the help that he needed. What advice do you have for carers/family members who are starting out their journey, are there any questions that you think they should be asking health professionals? 

Re: Just need to share

Thanks for that.

 
In the journey so far what I've learnt. And I may be wrong?
 
The first thing is look after yourself physically and mentally. You cant allow yourself to spiral out of control or get sick - Its the control part you need to conquer for yourself and your loved one. I manage it or it will manage us? We all have those periods of sitting down and asking why and its definitely not fair. And it will happen again.
  • Build a good relationship with the medical teams so you can have those difficult conversations and get help.
  • Be open to talk about it with your family members and others to break down the stigma.
  • Learn the trigger signals!
  • When they are experiencing a relapse or event. Its not about what I know, its about what they are believing or seeing? Learn to adapt.
  • Sometimes you have to stand firm and be the unmovable object and say NO. Because you do care and love them unconditionally. Doing the right thing is sometimes not what they want. But its what they need.Sometimes I say yes and go along for the ride. If it escalates out of control, call in for professional assistance.
  • Sometimes you have to be the person who makes extra meals and put them in the fridge for later to reheat.
  • Taking over administrative control of my sons money and affairs was critical in creating a stable platform of somewhere to live and food on the table with adequate funds to pay bills. I put my son on a 3 event allowance Monday - Wednesday - Friday. From his pension.
  • Find a place or event for them to look forward to - let them pick it and own it. I just go along and chill out. Remember to take a step back and just accept what it is and why you are there. Smile. your still here.
 
regards
Sole

Re: Just need to share

@Sole Thank you so much for sharing these practical tips and insights for @Happier and other families in a similar situation. Being a resistant force at times must be very challenging but it sounds like you have created vital supports that work for your family.

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