Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Helpful_Hinder]

It's been just over a week since having found my 23 year old sister in the kitchen self harmed. Not many could have imagined how someone so loving, vibrant and seemingly carefree could partake in an act of utter self destruction. She has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Alcohol is a problem for her and had noticed during her stay in the mental health ward, very little support was offered. Perhaps a little more assistance with alchohol addiction may have been helpful. 

She's been released for a day and have already consumed a bottle of wine. Against all strong advice from her ward doctor any myself, she went to work the day after being released and had an appauling day. Made it through most of the day fine until her first doctors appointment following up since discharged. After recapping for the upteenth time with this new doctor about suicide attempts and events that have lead to where we are now, this proved too much. Conveniently there was a liquor store located beside the medical centre and could not resist. On a side note - Why are medical centres more often than not located nearby liquor stores? 

I don't really know where I'm going with this and really can't express what's going on in my head. The mind is an interesting organ that no one seems to fully understand. My sister hides her emotions very well and has adapted a "she'll be right" attitude towards life. Since the previous suicide attempt she's revealed a plethora of personal information that kind of explains alot. I'm happy she trusts me enough to tell me these things. We have completely different personalites but that's seen as a good thing since we can draw on each others strengths. I've high hopes for my sister and her conquering of BPD. 

Would like to hear from anyone who's been affected by BDP and can give me some words of advice. 

[Lauz]

Hi @Helpful_Hinder,

I am sorry to hear about your sister - that must have been awful finding her that way. Its lovely that you have built up such a trusting relationship between you two - she is lucky to have you. Its also great to notice both your strengths and how they help each of you out.

The community here is very supportive and have a range of experiences. I hope you enjoy the space. Another new member @lewynrecently posted about their struggles with a loved one with BPD here and you may like to support each other in your journey's.

Have you sought out some professional support for yourself as well? What kind of things do you do to take care of you?

[Former-Member]

Hello @Helpful_Hinder

interesting user name........I can well imagine you would feel that way at times if that is where the idea came from

as @Lauz said how terrifying to find your beloved sister in that way

she deserves so much more out of life doesn't she.....

she has tried ...stayed in hospital....went to a new doctor and had to go over and over the same old same old

I don't have the diagnosis myself....a former family member through marriage did....after both trying very hard for many years they agreed to split and although leading their own lives, support one another especially with their shared (children) ...dogs...she is a beautiful soul...a sense of humour that lifted my spirits everytime in her presence

I also have acquaintances whom later told me that they had self-harmed on occasion

you have a very close relationship with your sister...different personalities...makes no difference. ..I am the same with my sister

in answer to the placement of liquor stores? anywhere they will make money..

many people with symptoms of a mental illness regardless of the diagnosis hide their emotions....I..wore a very tight fitting mask for many many years...only a few people knew over that period of time more out of necessity....most of those chose to avoid the subject....some even averted their eyes ...I wonder if they thought I was infectious??

So I do understand that you don't really know where you are going with this.....I thought I would reply to your comments make it more like having a conversation with you but most importantly letting you know that I am listening to your every word,....

I love the words ....I've high hopes for my sister and her conquering of BPD. 

I am sure that you have said these very words to her.....she is already at the beginning of her chance for having a quality of life.

There are several people on the site with the diagnosis of BPD ...they refer to it this way on here often

have a look  around and you will meet some lovely, interesting folk.

Give Carer's Mental Health Australia a call....they will probably categorise you  as her carer...they are very helpful. There is a very resourceful page on the website at the beginning with names and phone numbers.. you can also ring sane australia ..ph no at top right hand corner of page 1800 187 263 (sorry if you have already been told this)

As a carer we say to one another...take some time out for yourself....as in special time....look after you

welcome

come back and vent ...rant...rave as often as you like

cheers

[Shaz51]

Hi @Helpful_Hinder,and welcome to the forum

Hi @Lauz, @Former-Member

I am sorry to hear about your sister -that must have been awful finding her that way

I rememeber my husband stormed out of the house and went to the shed , a few minutes later i went to the shed and he had the rope all ready , my thoughts goes to what if i did not go to the shed , so sending you knowing hugs

[Former-Member]

@Shaz51

that would have been horrendous for you both

try not to think about what if....not helpful is it?

take care Mr and Mrs Shaz xxx

[Shaz51]

yes @Former-Member, it was a shock my friend  but he has not done it since

[Former-Member]

that is good to hear @Shaz51 he has come to a different path in his journey and has  his lovely understanding wife by his side now...

[Helpful_Hinder]

Thanks for responding. I've tried my best at keeping regular but have noticed things are slipping. It's early days so some adjustments are being made but we'll find a way. I have a very good support network where I work and have been understanding throughout which I've been very grateful for

[Former-Member]

Thank you for letting us know @Helpful_Hinder

yes every day is a different day

write on here when you feel the need

take care

[Shaz51]

Thank you for letting us know @Helpful_Hinder

very good support network where I work -- it is very good having the support  and we are here to for you xx