Hello @BlueBay
I would like you please, to take a deep breath, relax and read the "Reference Book Material" below which is my wording of the information from a reference book that I am reading as part of my own therapy and treatment.
What this material offers is a structure where you and I, and any other people who can identify with these issues may:
- first learn to recognise the problem
- next look at why those difficulties and issues occured
- then recognise that it was very reasonable to use the learned adaptations of behaviour in the past in response to those circumstances.
- Some of those adaptations, that we are still using, are causing us harm and are disruptive in our lives and relationships and therefore, we need to make changes
- you and I, are now beginning to recognise that because those behaviours were learned and developed in response to certain conditions and circumstances in the past, you and I can learn and adapt again to our present conditions and circumstances
- That means change, but we learned before and we are better at learning, changing and adapting now, with deliberation and awareness
- So our trip, or journey, with the assistance of a good therapist, is going to be an interesting and profitable journey {in so many ways}, if that is what we want, and we are prepared to work towards a better place in our lives, for ourselves, and others who are important to us.
With My Very Best Wishes
@HenryX
Reference Book Material
Exploring the Origins and Adaptive Value of the Modes
{This material relates to schema therapy but may also apply to other therapeutic relationships}
Wherever I use the word "client" read "You and I" or "You and me"
That , means @BlueBay and @HenryX
When the client's modes have been identified, the next step is to explore how the modes originally developed, with the intention of considering how the client's original coping styles were a product of adaptation to the situation in which they first emerged. The reason for this exploration is that chronically depressed individuals often benefit from seeing and understanding that there are valid reasons for the development of those original emotional, behavioural and cognitive styles. These clients often think of themselves as defective because of the existence of the depression that they have experienced for a number of years. Consequently, it can be a process of validation for them to explore how their depressive style made sense in response to some earlier stressor(s) in their lives, and how this style has become habituated and expressed through the modes that have been identified in the process of therapy. Exploration of the valid origins and reasons for their subsequently manifested depressive style with the clinician enhances their experience of feeling cared for and supported through the therapy relationship.
{This material may sound formal, but I am just offering it to you for information. The whole process for you and me is guided by a therapist who will be the one dealing with the formal side. This is simply to show you that there is a way through our internal maze of feelings to a better place.}
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