Lived Experience Forum

[Bridgetjones]

Listening to radio last week heard about 30 year high school reunion. Im not planning to attend. Has triggered what have I achieved in my life over the last 30 years negative thoughts? I feel like Ive wasted my life. Chronic depression/ social phobia has left me an under achiever and prevented alot of things that seem to come so easily to others- active social life, friends, meeting someone to marry. Feel like is passing me by.

[LouLouMagoo]

Hey @Bridgetjones we are always going to be our harshest critic, I encourage you to try and list all of the good things about you! 
With the society we live in we are given the perception that to be great we need to be the best at something and this is exacerbated by social media, @tawney started a thread and shared a bit about her experiences with social media here and @Sahara had some really great insights too! 
Remember comparing yourself to others will always feel futile, there is no one who is more you than you and that is pretty wonderful! 

-LouLouMagoo 

[Queenie]

You know my 20th high school reunion brought about the same types of feelings and thoughts are you describe @Bridgetjones. I thought about what I had achieved (I am on DSP, unable to work and have no home to call my own). I ended up going with much anxiety, as I was roped into helping organize the event. 

I am no social butterfly and was sure everyone would talk about me behind my back. I sat in the corner of the restaurant and hardly spoke to anyone. After an hour I made excuses and went home. 

The weird thing is, people DID talk about me behind my back. They asked where I was and how come I didn't want my picture taken in group photos (I took the photos instead). They also heaped praise upon me for achievements I didn't consider... one said she appreciated my artworks, another said she enjoyed my poetry, and another joined in and said she admired my strength of character, even if I didn't believe in it. Overall, I wish I had of stayed and actually enjoyed time with my childhood friends. 

I can't tell you to go or not, only you know that answer, however don't miss out on opportunities like I did, should they arise.

[NatalieS]

@Bridgetjones I understand what you're saying about school reunions, and the cycle of thoughts that can trigger as a result: everyone will be comparing how successful they are, where they live, what schools their kids go to, how educated they are, who got a promotion recently,who's the fattest, who's had botox etc.

I've always been a lone wolf, so my school days weren't particularly memorable, nor was there anyone I wanted to reconnect with. Many years ago, when news of the 20 year reunion came up, I didn't feel an urge to even want to go.

For as long as I can remember I've been the black sheep and have never fitted in with what some people may define as 'normal'. I accept I have mental health issues, that I prefer my own company (though I have a strong support network, which I reach out to when needed), I have my dog, my psychologist and counsellors, I work full-time, so I am truly blessed.

Please don't feel compelled to attend the reunion, but if you want to, by all means go. I'm sure everyone will be thinking the same things, and may feel inadequate themselves. It's a pity that society is so focused on success (whatever that may be.)

All the best.