Lived Experience Forum

[Chris]

So I avoided the annual family get together. Aunts in their 80's cousins and second cousins. No idea how many will turn up, but too many for me!Their my husbands family by the way.It isn't that I don't like them, they are all really lovely people.I find it near on impossible to make small talk and interact. But Im like that all the time. I end up really anxious, agitated and full blown panic attack. This social phobia I have had all my life. I can remember when I was about seven going to a party, and I sat in the same spot the whole time,wouldn't eat or drink anything. Oh goodness I'm anxious just thinking about it and have the shakes.It has been nice having the house to myself this afternoon.Just peace and quiet.Still have Thursday.There will be 17 for lunch, immediate family.This sure doesn't get any easier the older I get. I seem to have less resilience to these things..well that's where i'll leave it for now..

[Ellie]

I know where you're coming from Chris. I hate that I'm of an age whereby most of those type of events are no longer on the horizon because there's no players left, but I used to totally dread those family get-togethers. We had them for birthdays, pre-christmas and sometimes just for the heck of it, mostly on my mother's side. There were hoards of them and I seemed to be the odd one out. I didn't mix, I was extremely moody and thought everybody hated me. They probably did because I was a irritable, self centered, attention seeking little brat, but somehow they never seemed to show it. They were too busy enjoying themselves to notice that I was suffering!

[NikNik]

@Chris  - I suspect there's a few of around here at the moment who are dreading the next couple of days for similar reasons as yours. Anyone else concur?

Given you can anticipate the intensity of Thursday (17 people!? I hope you're not having to cook and feed them all!?) is there anything you can do before and/or after to reduce your anxiety so it doesn't have to last longer than it has to?

I, myself, notice that I phase in & out of being present in these types of big group situations. I think it's my coping mechanism to allow myself some brain space and not overload.

I always do the dishes at these types of events - it's often a job no one else wants to do, which means 30-40 mins of quiet time to myself 🙂 Just stare out the window and go through the motions of washing.

Am I odd? 

[Alessandra1992]

Washing dishes is where the best conversations are had..so no, I don't think you're odd.. I love washing dishes, very relaxing..