Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Tim_H]

My son has suffered from severe OCD and depression for many years. Given OCD is such a secretive illness I often don't know how he's going, as he keeps symptoms to himself. I would like to attend a psychiatrist appointmnet with him (if he allows as he's over 18) to find out more about his illness. Has anybody else done this?

[Mindful]

I attended a psychiatry appointment with an ex of mine and we both found it helpful to our relationship.  I found it helped me understand her schizophrenia better and it helped me look out for warning signs of oncoming psychotic episodes.  In that case however she asked me to come along.

On the flip side, I have also had my current partner attend a few of my therapy sessions so she could understand my depression better.  In this case she asked if she could attend because she hasn't had much exposure to mental illness before and wanted to learn more about my situation.

In both cases I found it helped my relationships.  The difficulty for yourself is, does your son want you there?  I think attending a session with him could be very helpful to you both, but first he needs to be comfortable with the idea.  If he already is then great!  But if not, start sowing the seeds slowly.  Open up dialogue with him about his OCD and depression, ask how he's travelling, how his compulsions are coming along etc, then ask about his therapy sessions (gently).  As you both get more comfortable talking about his therapy and progress you can then bring up the subject of joining him one session.

If he's secretive about his symptoms then start by opening dialogue more.  When you feel the time is right, gradually and gently introduce the option of joining a session.  From my perspective as the "patient" having a carer join them, I found it to be quite daunting and nerve-wracking.  In therapy I am completely exposed and vulnerable - it can be difficult letting another person see that, even if that other person is someone you love and trust.

[Tim_H]

Thanks for your response Mindful. I think your right, I need to slowly start talking to my son more about his illness before asking about attending therapy. He has dealt with his OCD for so long on his own. Appreciate your response. Great to hear your experience of sharing therapy sessions has been positive

[Kaz]

I care for my husband. He doesn't like me going with him to appoinments. So, i ask him about what happened when he returns home.   How old is your son?

[suzieb8]

I think it's great if you can see the treating Doctor with your son.

I have found it most helpful, though, when it is more of an "information" type session eg on how you can best support your son rather than expecting to find out his inner thoughts.  To me that is something between the patient and the therapist

[HazyDavy]

I have a wife and a son with schizophrenia.  From time to time I attend appointments with my wife but only when there is something specific and important we need to discuss or when she is unwell (and of course only with her permission).  Other times it is her private time - she has a good trusting relationship with her psychiatrist (over 30 years now) and we both feel incredibly lucky for that! (God help us when he retires!).

Its a bit different with my son.  In the early days I attended with him (a different psych) but as they got to know each other I took a step back. For better or worse he has to manage his own life including his mental health. I know he understands that I am there for him if he asks me for advice or help but I have found that the less I do for him the more he does for himself (which I know is not the case with everyone in his situation)! Its a bit like an adolescent - he needs to know my support is there but he resents needing it, so it has to remain unspoken.  Things are working OK for now - tomorrow .... who knows!

[Groundhogsday]

I hope I can help because I've experienced this a long time ago with my mother when I had severe O.C.D. In regards to the psychatrist think you deffiently go in should but also keep an eye on him and the medication that is perscribed however everybody is different. Make sure he isn't being bullied at a young age or if there is some external making him go internal.
 
If I could give my two cents all I wish I had at my age was somebody who could understand what O.C.D was who was very supportive at my age. While seeing a pyschatrist was ideal I think it's having a good support group of friends at that age which I didn't. 

[Appleblossom]

Welcome to the forum @GroundhogsdayThis is an old thread, but its a common concern for a lot of us.

You are right life would be so much better is friends understood us. I would have loved some understanding peers when I was young. You can start your own discussion if you want, or join in on many of the current threads. That way more people will notice and be able to respond.

Take Care.

Apple