Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

It is not easy to turn on and off our brains @Sam3 We do tend to ruminate too much when all we feel is the depression. It makes those lighter or 'better' moments harder to hold onto also. It took me a long time and many med changes to begin to get to a place where I felt the deoression was not taking up my every waking (and non-waking) life. Doing DBT also helped. It is about finding what works for you too though I understand that is somewhere where you are also presently stuck.

You do have a wonderful family and they seem very supportive of you - sometimes that is a battle for many of us so that is something to be grateful for Hon. Hold onto those wonderful things in your life - it doesn't necessarily make it any easier but it also doesn't make it any worse. 

[soft_edges]

Hey @MDT, just jumping into the conversation. Nice to meet you! 🙂 It sounds like you’re doing so much to take care of yourself. I’m interested in you saying you don’t want to talk to new people because of feeling uneasy about who you are, could you say more?

This is something that has prevented me from socialising a lot lately, being so ground down by my depression that I don’t really know who I am, it just becomes hard to have any sort of conversation, especially when meeting new people.

[Shaz51]

hello and hugs @soft_edges , @MDT , @Zoe7 , @Sam3 , @eudemonism 

[TAB]

Job fi nished now road still closed so upside is 26hrs pay min vs was 10 originally

[eudemonism]

Sounds like it's sorted itself out @MDT good work

[MDT]

Hey @soft_edges @Sam3 @TAB @Zoe7 @eudemonism @Shaz51

I had a pleasant evening last night. Cooked up some food. Sister was about too. So not totally quiet.
I watched Lincoln. Good film. Would recommend it. Spoke to an old friend from Warsaw who I miss haha!
This morning I am juts at the local coffee shop. I have dropped my sister at the train as she is hanging out with some friends today.
When I get back home I need to work on two applications. Due tomorrow because I ran out time over the past week. I pace myself with this stuff so I need to break it up. So I do this today and tomorrow don't need to do much in this area til Tuesday. Basically trading weekend hours across.

As for ways to improve my self worth and how I view myself @Sam3 @soft_edges
I start by looking at my progress and where I am atm. What I've achieved and how that weighs up despite my mental health. But in the times where I feel terrible I always try to remember that thoughts and feelings aren't always accurate. So I need to disassociate.

[MDT]

Extra pay is always good @TAB

[TAB]

Just got told am not smiling @MDT lol

[Zoe7]

It sounds like your decision not to go out last night was a good one @MDT and you are pacing yourself with the job applications.

I am especially pleased you spoke to your Warsaw friend - that brings a little light to your day 

Just had an early lunch here and am watching a true crime show - very interesting as it is pretty close to home and lots of the places in it are very recognisable - makes it a lttle eery in-fact to watch but it has been a case that has been widely known for a long time and I am interested to see how it is all put together for tv. 

[soft_edges]

It sounds like you’ve been doing some really nice self-care this weekend so far @MDT. I do the same with job applications, breaking it up over several days, because otherwise I find the process of trying to sell myself incredibly demoralising.

And yeah, it’s really good to be able to use those quiet moments to get some perspective on progress. I see it most when I’m in a good habit of journaling, and being able to look back over my ups and downs, and see how my current coping strategies are helping. Best of luck to you with the applications!