Lived Experience Forum

[NatureLover]

Oh @Emelia8 , I'm sorry you've had such a traumatic day. 😞 💔

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@Emelia8 wrote:

Its a two hour drive, and I was told I'd have to be there for 4 hours. I cancelled the appointment they made for me next week, but they made another for the week after.  I dont want to go.  I'm really scared Pea.

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I am proud of you (if that's OK to say) for agreeing to another appointment the week after. It would indeed be very scary. I hope you will take your phone with you so that you can have us all right there with you, for the long trip and the 4 hours of tests. We will all come along with you! The room will be crowded with all of us...all your many supporters, all wishing you well. 

You definitely do not deserve to die, dear @Emelia8 . 💔

And as for tonight, I really hope you can rest...you must be exhausted. I know you find it hard to rest, as you are constantly on alert... I hope that tonight the exhaustion will kick in, and you can sleep. Please stay safe, Emelia...we care about you. 

[Eve7]

Thanks @Emelia8 please look after yourself. I care about you and @Zoe7 very much and think you are both extraordinary in your support of others.

💕

[Emelia8]

Do you really care @NatureLover , or are you just saying that?  Not sure I will sleep, I'm in a fair amout of pain.  Got pain killers, though sometimes I find painkillers make you drowsy but not sleepy.  Does that make sense?  Sorry I'm not even sure I'm making any sense right now ... I dont know anything.  Yes its scary ... its all scary.  And coming on top of all the other stuff ... its more than I feel I can bear.

Traumatic day you say.  Yeah it has been.  Not my best few days you could say.  Its been the longest 48 hours!  You'd think I'd be used to trauma by now wouldnt you?  I've had my fair share of it over the years.  I used to cope, but as things just keep piling up ... I find I no longer can.  The house of cards has collapsed on top of me.

Yes .. .I do deserve to die.  I'm a very bad person.  And I'm getting my just desserts.  YEs exhaustion ... its been there for weeks ... but sleep still doesnt come.

I guess I have to accept that you do care, you have always been wonderful to me. And so manyothers.  And I know I care about you, and heaps of others here.  So thank you. 🙏  Love you.

Em

[Emelia8]

@Anastasia 🌸🌸🌸🙏🙏🙏🌹🌹🌹

[NatureLover]

Yes, I do care, @Emelia8 . Even if I have not been here as much lately to say that, I have been trying to to send you supportive mesages for your Inbox. 

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@Emelia8 wrote:

Yes .. .I do deserve to die.  I'm a very bad person.  And I'm getting my just desserts.  

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You're not a very bad person...a very bad person would not have the love and support of so many people here. But I realise that you are in a very bad place right now, and can't hear it, I think... 💔

I am still carrying hope for you, and hope that you will sleep. I'm sorry about all the pain, both physical and emotional...I'm wishing very hard for you. 

I'm wondering if you can contact your psychologist out of hours? Or maybe a helpline tonight? 

[Emelia8]

I used Sane Chat on Tuesday night, which was helpful. @NatureLover .  Thought waited for ages to get on because it kept saying it was not available.  And yesterday they werent on at all, all day training for the counsellors.  Which is great.  My 48 hour purgatory was badly timed to say the least. :angry_face_with_horns:  I have an appoinhtment with my psych next Wednesday and my GP next Thursday.

[WIP]

Hello @Emelia8 

I was a little rattled when I read the post first thing this morning, but then quickly was concerned for you and others. I am okay thanks, please don't be worried.

I am worried about you however, and wish there was something I could do to help your pain. I do understand some of how you feel, and can only offer my best wishes that you look after yourself and feel a bit better soon. You are a delightful, supportive forum member who many forumites value and think a lot of. If only you could see this about yourself, but at the moment, I know just how hard this can be. 

Please take care and keep posting, as it will help you and us 😊❤️

WIP xx

[Emelia8]

Thank you @WIP 💗

[Anastasia]

I have had a rather ridiculous day at work so I'm sorry I haven't been here. Home now, difficult time with my boy and struggling with my own psych appointment that I had today. So in saying that I'll be offline mostly but I want you all to know how sorry I am that something awful seemed to have been posted today. Sending love to each of you @WIP @Emelia8 @NatureLover  @greenpea@Owlunar 

I'm not tagging Eve7 on purpose as I can see it's effected her dreadfully. ❤️

[greenpea]

@Anastasia  you are such a kind and caring lady. Wishing you a calm evening with you and your boy. Love peaxxx