Every time my mum is rude to me I want to die

[WildFlower1]

Today my mum called me a lazy bitch because I didn't do as she asked right away. She would never speak to my brother and sister that way. I don't understand why she has to treat me like I am worthless. Every time she speaks to me like this I struggle to want to be alive, she does this regularly. I just wish I was wanted.

[tyme]

That's so so hard @WildFlower1 .

Have you ever spoken to her about it at a time when you have both been calm? e.g. "I've noticed that you speak to me differently than my siblings. I'm interested to find out more. Is there something I've done wrong?"

I wonder if she's even conscious she's doing it?

[WildFlower1]

@tyme Yes I have. I told her once the way she speaks to me makes me wish I was dead and the whole family ganged up on me and said that proves how selfish I am for wanting to die. She knows she is rude to me and does not care because she never wanted me

[tyme]

That's so so hard to live with. Have you ever spoken to 1800RESPECT? @WildFlower1 

[WildFlower1]

@tyme I have once. I just feel so trapped. She is a narcissist. Everyone thinks she is so nice but she is so mean to me.

[tyme]

Are you in a place/space where you can get away from her @WildFlower1 ?

That abuse must severely impact your MH.

[WildFlower1]

@tyme I live with her at the moment. I am trying to find a place but it has been hard. Also I don't feel like I can live alone. I feel like I don't know what I am doing.