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Looking after ourselves

Horza
Casual Contributor

What to do if therapy doesn't work?

I had a bit of a breakdown as a teenager, nothing seemed to help (medication/therapy), so I sortof just lived with it. However, I had another fairly big breakdown now I'm in my mid 30s, and I've been seeking support for about three years now: but I'm not getting anywhere.

Effectively: most psychologists operate from a very particular treatment methodology. In short, they believe that they can just convince patients that their underlying thought structures that are related to trauma are irrational, and those thought structures can then change which means the patient can work through trauma, if not towards a cure, then at least towards management of symptoms. The core idea is that the beliefs about someone's traumas that cause them problems, not the traumas themselves, and if this specific treatment methodology is correctly applied, then patients can see improvements in only a couple weeks!

But for people with complex trauma (or any serious trauma, even), this kind of treatment methodology (or other popular fads like 'mindfulness') isn't really useful, at all, but it appears to almost always be the only thing that's available (probably because it's cheap?). I've seen more than one psychologist who has told me straight up that they don't know how to treat me at all, and to speak with a psychiatrist. My experience with psychiatrists has effectively just been having pills thrown at me which make the symptoms far worse, and told my problems aren't bad enough for serious attention and that I just need to see a psychologist.

Has anyone managed to get out of a situation like this? How do you get help, when the people you go to for help say they have no idea how to help you?

13 REPLIES 13

Re: What to do if therapy doesn't work?

@Appleblossomposted a video on a thread, with a nice Euro man explaining what the process is to be from a more wholistic team perspective. I found it helpful.

 

I think people are realizing that it's rarely so simple as one person fixing another person. More of a joint recovery journey where everyone plays their part in the making of it all. That's what best "systemic practice" means to me right now.

Re: What to do if therapy doesn't work?

Hi @Horza 


Yes, I have gotten out of a situation even though initially no one could help me. 

How? I kept looking and persisted. 

Voila! I’m alive and kicking and absolutely love life.

 

Was mindfulness the solution? No.

 

Was medication the solution? No (but it aided recovery)

 

Did my way of thinking change? Yes - after about 3 years in therapy.

Re: What to do if therapy doesn't work?

@Horza 

 My life started with a heavy psychiatrist focus, and then about half way, having established some security I shifted to psychologists. Hearing you about the limits of both psychologists and psychiatrist. Best bet seems to take it into your own hands and do your research.  The problem is we cannot research what it feels like to have an effective and therapeutic relationship.  I am thinking, these days, if the therapy does not work, it has more to do with the therapist than the client, even though with low self esteem we may fall into thinking that we are somehow strangely beyond help   Spent a lot of time at the zoo with animals and talking to researchers etc. I see it all somewhat related to social and economic injustice and distribution of resources, personal and material.

Take Care and hope the forum can help

Apple

Re: What to do if therapy doesn't work?

Hi @Horza ! Welcome to the forums! 😀

 

I was stuck in a terrible therapy situation for years. No help forthcoming, whatsoever. I only managed to get out of it when my therapist pronounced me "cured" - based upon the fact that she was pleased with my financial situation; which was odd, because I never spoke about my financial situation in therapy. But I didn't care, I was just glad to finally be free of her.

 

I also know what it's like to go through having harmful medication dealt out at you, as a supposed remedy for real-life problems. In my case, all that happened was that I got fatter (which was nonetheless a setback); I know many people have far worse ordeals with meds, so I hesitate to complain. It still mystifies me how people expect a pill to magically remedy a real-life problem.

 

I don't know much about dealing with trauma, myself. I believe the Blue Knot Foundation helps people with this?

 

https://blueknot.org.au/

 

Perhaps you might want to check this out, and maybe get in contact with them if they sound like they can help you?

Re: What to do if therapy doesn't work?

Hi @Horza,

Thank you for sharing your story and experience here with us in the forums. It genuinely takes courage to come to the point where you're able to share and to ask the questions you have here. This demonstrates you are prioritising your recovery and willingness to reflect on what is and isn't working for you. As someone who has walked that path, I really commend you for that.

To answer your questions, I experienced complex trauma and I too tried a number of psychologists looking for help. The turning point for me was finding an excellent psychiatrist who offered psychotherapy. In these sessions, it wasn't about identifying irrational beliefs and challenging them, it required me to tune in to the feelings that arise when confronted with the thoughts. That was the key ingredient for me in my recovery. It wasn't an active restructuring of thoughts, it was an active acceptance and reintegration of my feelings. As a by-product the "irrational" thoughts fell away so that yes I managed to walk closer toward the end of my recovery path (if there is every a true "end"?).

I think it's a matter of asking the questions, as you have here today, and chatting with your clinical supports about finding a modality that suits your needs. In the meantime, we'll all be here to support you along the way 💙

Re: What to do if therapy doesn't work?

How are you going @Horza ?

Re: What to do if therapy doesn't work?

Not great. Had another ride of the "merry go round", I'm not sure if you know what I mean: you realise you're in a bad place, so you reach out, and you get "chain referred" by people who only care if you are in crisis bad enough you are a risk to yourself or others (I'm not), until the last person just tells you to use google to try and find support, and then you have to spend all morning making phone calls and emails just to be told that the books are full, and that you should... try ringing the very same "help"lines that told you to just use google in the first place, and the entire process just makes you call in sick and not go to work because you are just so exhausted. If one more person suggests ringing (any of the major mental health-related hotlines) I'm going to scream.

Re: What to do if therapy doesn't work?

From experience, I think anyone who tells you to contact any helpline whatsoever hasn't actually experienced how bad those helplines actually are: they're incredibly bad at mental health triage (you always feel completely unlistened to, they read off a script that just makes you feel ignored and patronised), and the only referrals they can make are to other just-as-useless helplines, or tell you to use google?

Are you at immediate risk to yourself or others? No? Don't care, bye sweety! But as far as I see it, if people are helped before they are a threat to themselves (or others?) then that's actually a better place to help people? I don't understand the logic of just telling someone to use google if they ring up and say they need help... what use are you, if that's all you can do?

I feel extremely frustrated: "here are my problems. I need support finding support specific for my problems" might sound really simple, but it's apparently very complicated!

Re: What to do if therapy doesn't work?

So true @Horza - prevention is better than cure, right?

 

Have you heard of SANE's guided service? Here's more information if you are interested. It consists of about 12-weeks (12 phone contacts with a peer support worker/counsellor). The beauty of it is that the people you are linked to are consistent which means you do not have to repeat your story each time.

 

It's a free service, but only catch is, only people living in certain areas can access the service (for now). 

 

I'd encourage you to have a look to see if you are eligible. In the meantime, you I hope you can connect with other supports too. 

 

Here's the link: https://www.sane.org/referral

 

I know your thread says 'What to do if therapy doesn't work?' however, I've noticed that it depends on who is facilitating the therapy, who is involved in the therapy, the structure of the therapy, one's readiness for therapy etc. There are so many factors that come into play. 

 

Sometimes, it's not about how well trained a professional is, but rather, how effective the 'link' is between individual and professional. 

 

Have you ever immediately 'clicked' with someone, then other times, immediately not clicked with someone? Just happens, I guess.

 

I hear you @Horza . And hope you will find space for gentleness for yourself.

 

tyme

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