Lived Experience Forum

[Teej]

Thanks @Acacia. I think surviving and having a walking  1 year old is a lovely success to celebrate. It’s a tough gig that first year (just a heads up so is their 17th year when they are learning to drive 😉......and a few others) but I think the first year sets you up for all that is to come 😊

way to go! 😄

[Acacia]

Thanks Teej 

---

@Teej wrote:

Just wondering if anyone has any comments they’d like to post about a success, a loss or just plodding along with life. 

---

Great idea!

@Faith-and-Hope @greenpea @Phoenix_Rising @Former-Member @Shaz51 @outlander @Sans911 @Catcakes @Queenie and anyone else who is around the place tonight

[Teej]

Ok just me again 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:

just wanting to really journal a bit here about my experiences with DBT while it’s still fresh in my mind. I’m not expecting any responses but thought I’d share just in case anyone was interested. 

The Good. 

The most awesome, beautiful women in my group. It was a really cohesive and supportive group. There were lots of laughs and some tears, and today, lots of hugs too. 

Having weekly sessions kept skills in the forefront of my mind mostly. I learned lots more than I expected too. I think some may even stay in my brain for a bit 😜. 

My understanding of emotion regulation has grown so much. It makes much more sense now. Today’s session was really helpful in tying lots together. 

Sharing our homework was such a great way to see how others implemented concepts and bought lots of light bulb moments for us all. I honestly learned as much, if not more, from members in my group sharing experiences (I guess there’s a touch of lived experience forum there too) 

It got better as I went along to be able to talk through homework tasks and refine skills through discussing them or looking at things in a new way. 

The really non judgemental approach to everything and the growing confidence to share our experiences (becoming more vulnerable but more connected) was a lovely shared mutual experience. 

The Bad. (Just to make sure we miss the dialectic......what middle ground!😉😜)

it will take a long time and lots of practice to use the skills in everyday life. I forget to use them often.

4.5 months is too rushed. I was finally starting to get it and find relevance in the last few weeks. I understand why they run the program over 12 months in the private system. I still find myself feeling overloaded and a little overwhelmed with it.

that it ended because going to group really helped keep it in my brain as a more constant thing. Having to present homework is helpful too because it means you have to practice and be aware of it......however doing a few concepts a week means there was no time to refine or work through problems that arose later.

sometimes the heaviness of emotion from going to group or doing the homework, especially in distress tolerance, as you had to work through crisis situations and it kept them 'alive' longer if that makes sense. 

The Ugly

My wilfulness and barriers I put up. I got better at it but I didn’t realise how stubborn I really was with some concepts. I had walls that went up with a few things that really challenged my thinking and this some rather strong emotions too. I often needed distress tolerance skills to deal with the distress tolerance module and the emotion regulation. 

The Interesting

watching how individual we all were with what worked for us in group. Some things that were really not helpful for me were really helpful for others and vice versa. It’s definitely not a one size fits all therapy like I think I thought before. Once you start finding the things that are relevant to you it helps lots. 

I think there will be a time and place for me to do the program again when my life circumstances are different. Being so very isolated in real life meant that modules like interpersonal skills were hard to practice for me. 

That’s my wrap on DBT for now, written with gratitude that I got to do the program 😊

[utopia]

@Teej. So glad to hear how well your DBT course went. I think these things are easier, in the end, in a grouo setting. Yiu learn so much from others in the class and it's a safe/ish place to socialise.
Yiu are sounding so positive. There is a definite change in your tone. A more hopeful tone.
Yes it will still be hard at times - but it seems you are more than on the right path.
Very proud of you.

[Appleblossom]

Great to hear your experiences and reflections @Teej

I did courses on Self Transformation when I was in my 20s and some themes keep recurring in the new MH personal development materials.

I have recently began a Flourish course ... a 6 week one with very small group.  I really like the facilitators and the course is a good summary of positive approaches to mental health.

So good just to see . .. you ....

[Faith-and-Hope]

Just popping my head in here to say that my S2 ditched group therapy in DBT a few weeks ago.  It really wasn’t working for him and he took action over it ..... which is something that has had to be promoted with hm .....

So now the therapist has set up private DBT sessions one-to-one .... rather than him not doing DBT at all ..... so waiting to see how this goes, but he is looking forward to trying again, which is the main thing.

Thanks for sharing your experiences @Teej .... 🤗💕

[Teej]

Thank you so much @Appleblossom, @utopia, @Faith-and-Hope for your encouragement. It meant a lot. It was nice to be reminded that there was still an old me in here somewhere. She’s been a bit awol again but trying really hard not to let it slip too far. 

@Appleblossom I did the flourish group a few years ago and found it really helpful for understanding some basic things but having the facilitators having lived experience and sharing that was the first time I started to own any of my stuff. I hope you keep enjoying it. My association with NEAMI was really positive. They have less of a presence in this state now though unfortunately. I used their respite services a bit which were fantastic but have all closed here now. Grrrrr 

@Faith-and-Hope I can understand why s2 would have struggled with group too. I know it’s not for everyone. From my experiences they are very female dominant too, I’m not sure if that would worry him but just giving you heads up that every male in my DBT groups pulled out of it. It’s great that he wants to try again. 

@utopia Thanks for your positive comments. You’ve been in my brain in the last week or so too.  I have had renewed determination which has helped but also had some shocker days where I’ve been in bed all day. I’m just trying to say that it’s ok and there is lots of self talk to get going again. I wanted to share with you something that has helped a bit for me. I had read about mini habits where you do some thing really small every day. I chose to pull out 5 weeds a day. I haven’t had the self discipline to do it everyday but the days I do it I feel good. It’s amazing once you have the 5th weed out that you keep going because you’ve already passed that. I had found my garden soooooo overwhelming and it was getting over grown. It’s been a more positive thing that’s helped.  Not sure if you are in the headspace to do that just now but I wanted to share it with you. Next 5 things a day will be cleaning my car. 😳😫😏 little bit by little bit.  I guess it’s @Faith-and-Hope running raids for the outside stuff but with numbers attached. 

Thanks to all who read this thread too 🤗💜

[utopia]

@Teej. 5 weeds is a great idea.
I've been meant to take 2 things off my messy dining table everyday. But haven't.
Today though I folded up all the clean washingthat was on there. Loads and loads.
It does feel good to see it so much cleaner.
Tomorrow I might tackle the paperwork on the table.

[Teej]

Ok for my steps towards recovery this week. 

Im tagging @CheerBear as you’ve asked how things are. I’ve been up and down and round and round......nothing new in that. Last week in my 'working towards volunteering' group I had a kind of panic attack (not the true kind but the one where you say I can’t do this, I’m not ready, it’s not right for me). I ended up seeking support as I over reacted quite hugely at the time. Luckily that support helped me to talk the the facilitator of this group on Friday. She calmed my farm and helped me put the expectations of the group in focus. I went to group today with the mindset it was ok for me to go but I’m not ready yet for the next step. 

But then today the plot thickens..... Today we had someone come from the council volunteering program. She introduced herself and told us of her previous experience in working in mental health. She was positive and lovely and all the things I was panicking over she helped to alleviate those fears. She talked about how they accomodate people with mi and it was so reassuring. There are some volunteering jobs I really want to do but let my fears rule me. I have her number and will ring for an interview now after completely falling down last week with it. I’m so glad she came to our group and I have something else to be positive about again and might even have something else to get me out of my head and house. Well that’s my news after a very very mixed week. 

And just for interest and an update @Faith-and-Hope. My brother did deal with my property settlement while he was here and met with my ex. It’s all going ahead at the moment but there are potential hurdles. It helped give me a sense of security again. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Wtg @utopia @Teej ....