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Looking after ourselves

ali2204
Casual Contributor

Self care vs laziness?

Hoping for some insights about how to know when I'm using 'self care' or a 'mental health day' as an excuse just to be lazy. I suffer with severe depression and work as a nurse. Due to covid my hours dropped significantly so now I only work 1-2 days per week. As a result if I have a day where I'm supposed to work and just can't face it, I feel incredibly guilty for thinking about taking the day off. I'm having a lot of trouble with my energy levels all round, my doctor has put me on melatonin to even out my sleep, which has reset my body clock but I still wake up feeling like I've been hit by a truck, even after sleeping 9 hours through the night. I don't understand why I'm so tired all the time. When is it healthy to force myself to go to work (or socialise etc) and when is it healthy to listen to my brain? And is it my actual brain or depression brain? How do I know the difference? I am trying to get better at listening to myself because making sure that I hear me takes away my external reliance and resentment on others not hearing me. But I am afraid of being judged for not working and I judge myself very severely. I even lie about my life and work hours so that other people won't judge or berate me. I'm also not very good at pushing through in order to build stamina and resilience, if I don't feel like something I generally don't do it. I'm such a bad person. 

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Self care vs laziness?

Hi @ali2204 

Welcome to the Sane forums.

You are definitely not a bad person. If anything you are courageous and brave to keep going in difficult times and to seek out help.

It is hard to find that balance between working and looking after ourselves. Sometimes we need that time off to look after ourselves both physically and mentally. It is not laziness. You are put YOU first and there is nothing wrong with that.

Have you ever thought about going to see someone, such as a counsellor or a psychologist. They might be able to give you some extra help you deserve.

 

I hope you find the support you are looking for here.

Hoping your day goes well too.

Snowie

Re: Self care vs laziness?

We are all on the learning curves for self-care, remember to be kind to ourselves espercially when you are still working as a nurse looking after others. It is amazing how you joggle between your job and managing your life

Re: Self care vs laziness?

@ali2204  Welcome to the forums.

 

Waking up feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck, sounds like a fair indication that you feel unwell and need a day, or more, off work.

 

I was a nurse many years ago, so I know how hard you work. I really don’t think we are good at mental health care assessment for ourselves, at least, that’s the case for me.

 

I would seriously consider talking to you Dr about how you are feeling.

 

You are sooooo Not a bad person.

 

Just a forum tip. The @ brings a dropdown, that’s how we tag each other.

 

Nice to meet you.

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