Skip to main content
Forums Home
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Looking after ourselves

Re: Relationships: Maintaining boundaries when experiencing complex mental health issues

Hello and hugs @TideisTurning , @Emelia8 , @jem80 

We will be able to share here my friends xxx 

I am off to bed now , hope you sleep  ok tonight ❤❤❤❤

Re: Relationships: Maintaining boundaries when experiencing complex mental health issues

I'm not sure @Emelia8, but I don't think you were the only one. I will ensure it's passed back to the team so we can look into it 😊

Re: Relationships: Maintaining boundaries when experiencing complex mental health issues

Thank you @TideisTurning @Shaz51 

 

Emelia 

Re: Relationships: Maintaining boundaries when experiencing complex mental health issues

The bits that I seen of it, it looked good. The page kept jumping to the top and I had to keep scrolling back down. I gave up. 

Re: Relationships: Maintaining boundaries when experiencing complex mental health issues

Thanks for the shout-out @Shaz51 

 

I didn't know this was on - I haven't been into the site much lately - I have needed the time for self-care - too much pain.

 

I will think about Boundaries etc - I needed them with my son but he had no idea that people needed boundaries and he was young

 

I'm sorry to hear about your Mum @Adge  - she sounds toxic - she is setting boundaries herself but in a very unhealthy way - a little like my mother was - it was her way or the highway - 

 

But we do need boundaries and we need to be assertive about protecting them - and Shaz - obviously Mr Shaz needs to leave early to go to bed and that's his right but people wonder and wonder - but you don't need to explain - it's possible other people wouldn't get it anyway

 

We mostly don't need to explain our boundaries - we do need to know where they are and why

 

Catch up later - it's time for me to go to bed

 

Dec

Re: Relationships: Maintaining boundaries when experiencing complex mental health issues

Thanks for the tag @Shaz51 

Cant believe I missed this one. Will have to check it out. 

Re: Relationships: Maintaining boundaries when experiencing complex mental health issues

Sure thing @BPDSurvivor! 😊For everyone else here too:

Here is the resource we shared on how to set boundaries in relationships, and 

here is the resource I shared with you @BPDSurvivor which talks about rigid, porous, and healthy boundaries Smiley Happy

Re: Relationships: Maintaining boundaries when experiencing complex mental health issues

@Shaz51 

 

of all the discussions I probably should  have been there for....

 

my boundaries are such that I was too scared to go online when I should have been in the kitchen preparing his dinner, and the consequences of him thinking I needed support in the first place were just not worth it

 

says a lot, doesn't it?

 

I'm supposed to work from home on a Friday, but he started at 4:30am and I just couldn't take a full day of it while trying to work at the same time. I was at the office by 6am and I've had 6 missed calls, 4 voicemails and 2 texts asking me why I don't care whether he's coping or not.

 

I have no boundaries. He walks all over me and I beg for more. This is my failure, not his.

 

 

Re: Relationships: Maintaining boundaries when experiencing complex mental health issues

@SJT63 that sounds like a lot to be dealing with; I'm sorry he doesn't respect your boundaries.

 

I'd like to share with you something I shared in the event itself last night, which is that if people in your life don't respect your needs and boundaries, or if you’re concerned about your (physical, emotional, or psychological) safety- please reach out to services like 1800 RESPECT (www.1800respect.org.au), Relationships Australia (www.relationships.org.au), or Lifeline (www.lifeline.org.au) Heart

Re: Relationships: Maintaining boundaries when experiencing complex mental health issues

@Former-Member 

thanks. Although that doesn't work. When I talk to professionals about this the unanimous verdict is that I can't life like this.

 

However, there is no alternative. If I push back he threatens self harm, like he is today via text and voicemail. I can't leave because it's my house. I can't make him leave because a) he won't go and b) it would be the end of him. I can't have that on my conscience.

 

His autism prevents him seeing my boundaries and his bipolar and ptsd see him rage if I overstep his. He has many, ever changing boundaries of which I only become aware when I cross them. This morning I gave him coffee in the wrong coloured cup. That was a new one that totally blindsided me.

 

Everyone I talk to tells me I can't live like this and can't or won't understand that I have no choice.

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance