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Looking after ourselves

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On sharing your troubles and emotions with others

Hi all, I hope this is the right place to post this. Talking about our troubles and such to others regarding the ones we love and care for can really help with our own self-care. However, I have been having trouble doing this while maintaining the privacy of my loved one who has BPD. It's so inherent in the issues we face and so influencial upon her actions but I can't reveal this to my friends due to her wishes/stigma/etc. 

 

I would really appreciate any insight on how you would talk about the situations you are in without divulging much information related to mental illness? (hope this all makes sense, thank you). 

6 REPLIES 6

Re: On sharing your troubles and emotions with others

Hello @Beekind 

This makes complete sense - what you are feeling is entirely normal and having a place to air our feelings is important as well as to be encouraged in maintaining our own mental health (which can take quite a battering at times). 

 

The forum is a terrific spot for this as others understand the challenges we face and it is anonymous. Whilst our circumstances are different, a lot of the emotions we feel are the same - helplessness, isolation, resentment, wanting to help, exasperated, etc. 

 

There are people here who listen and who care. 

 

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Having our own counselors can be helpful too (getting one that is the 'right fit' is important).  I have found the combination of face to face engagement along with the forums to be most helpful.

 

Look forward to seeing you around.

Re: On sharing your troubles and emotions with others

Hi @Beekind, it's perfectly normal to feel that, however, everyone here has similar experience and are incredibly supportive. Please feel free to share your experience without any names or other personal information, if you can't go into specifics, perhaps you can talk about the topic rather than your exact experience.  

Re: On sharing your troubles and emotions with others

Hi guys, thanks for the support and replies @Darcy @Ali11. I guess I'm wondering about doing this in real life, how one would talk about their troubles with a friend or someone they know and yet not reveal the mental illness aspect of the problem.

Re: On sharing your troubles and emotions with others

That's a tough question @Beekind, have you thought about writing it as a letter, but not giving it to anyone to begin with, so you can read over and refine what you want to say, and decide what questions you'll feel comfortable answering? 

Re: On sharing your troubles and emotions with others

@Beekind 

I feel at one stage I shared too much and regretted doing so. Now I tend to keep things vague using terms like

'things are a bit rough'

'feeling a bit emotional'

'Men, can't live with them, can't live without them'

'He's having a rough patch'

'We all have medical issues and he isn't coping well, hoping his doc can sort it out'

 

I find most people don't want to listen to the details, they feel uncomfortable, those I tell  my counselor. 

BUT

If he is threatening or you do not feel safe, you need a friend and a back up plan ... say he has 'issues'.

 

Re: On sharing your troubles and emotions with others

Hey @Beekind, how are you doing this week? Sharing your worries with others is important for self-care. Have you been able to establish the questions or topics you are not comfortable discussing about your loved one's health?

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