15-02-2020 09:53 PM
I haven't posted for a year. I'm still caring for my daughter who has bpd and bipolar II. Trying to keep the family functioning, my job, my friends, my health....just trying to "keep" is so hard. I meditate. I exercise. I keep animals. I make sure I go out with friends. But there's this cloud. My daughter is continuing to see her psyche. Is enrolled in DBT and attends, can't hold a job down so we give her an income. Needless to say, each fortnight I get down to a couple of dollars in the bank just before pay day arrives. I am so sick of this emotional roller coaster. Of her. Of being so self-absorbed. Of not contributing in any way to helping out around the house. Of being bed bound unless she's attend the clinic or a psyche session. Or seeing her boyfriend who just comes over to have sex with her and then goes. Hardly a relationship.
I've decided there is no answer.
I just needed to talk. My husband has had enough as well and I don't want to burden him tonight with how things played out today. A fight with her boyfriend, her gritting her teeth in anger at me to leave her room, her threat of suicide.
Having written this, I've realised why I am feeling like things are a bit more difficult today.
It has been a difficult day. At what point is she responsible for her behaviour? Drawing boundaries is so exhausting. She's clever. Manipulative and seems to believe her feelings only.
Thanks for listening whoever is out there in a similar boat. I'm sorry for all your pain, but your sharing it, somehow, tragically, helps me.
17-02-2020 04:07 PM
17-02-2020 10:28 PM
thx @Shaz51 for tagging me here ...
i hear and feel your pain and confusion and exhaustion Dots ... I was struggling through a work day today and feeling fragile myself - my partner with bipolar II , anxiety and depression spends most every day in bed and only gets activated for clinic day program and psych appts and selective friends/family social events - rest of week is pretty random ... I struggle with this too when I'm working my butt off full time job and then often find myself also doing housework and cooking at night and running the household finances sigh ... we have some better weeks where she sometimes helps out and bad weeks where she does absolutely nothing ... I even find it hard not knowing what to expect each day ... but I love her and I know it sounds flakey but I think in my heart I know she is doing her best - even tho my logical mind often wonders otherwise and if I should demand more and what would happen if I did .. anyway pls feel free to vent whenever you need to .. I am here and listening x
25-02-2020 09:32 AM
17-03-2020 11:03 AM
Hi Dots, I hear you. Have a daughter also with bpd and panic and anxiety disorder. Very self absorbed.
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