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Looking after ourselves

Former-Member
Not applicable

I have a counselling appointment TOMORROW.

I made another appointment with a GP in my area that has a special interest in mental illness, after cancelling the first one πŸ˜‚. The appointment is in two weeks, but in the meantime, I have an appointment with my University counselor. 

 

I am going to talk about my suicidal thoughts, and ask her the question I asked you guys: how you justify seeking help when you know nothing will really make you happy anyway. However, there are TWO main problems.

 

Firstly, my appointment is only an hour long and we've never met each other before.

 

I had a counsellor before this who I have communicated with extensively, but she's on leave right now. It makes me think that I am going to have to spend a good amount of time introducing myself and explaining where I'm at. She's probably going to talk to me again, where I can go into more detail. Hopefully she has a second appointment available soon, but I don't know that πŸ˜….

 

Secondly, and most annoyingly, the appointment is online.

 

It's going to be done over Zoom. It just boggles my mind that they haven't considered going back to face-to-face counselling. Psychotherapists and even doctors see their patients face-to-face without wearing masks nowadays, so surely counselling is safe enough. The University has made a couple of strange decisions, like having face-to-face classes again, but having online exams. WHY?!??!?!?!

 

But to get back to the topic at hand πŸ˜‚, I don't know if I'll be able to find a private place to talk to her. I was going to go to the old campus and use the auditorium, or talk somewhere outdoors, but then I realised that the campus is pretty busy again, with classes returning. I don't know what to do. I can't cry, or talk in detail about suicide in the library, I'll probably get looked at!

 

Seriously, though, I hope I find an environment that's appropriate and comfortable, but at this point, I'm semi-doubting it.

 

Do you guys have any advice for either of the above, and how did online counselling work for you anyway? Cheers.

9 REPLIES 9

Re: I have a counselling appointment TOMORROW.

Hi Florence, 

I have to be honest and share that I just learnt of this online resource through my studies (Masters Human Services). I saw your post and wanted to reply! 

I am always quite anxious when I meet a new counsellor or psych for the first time. I never know what to say. One thing I wish I could redo in the first appointment is get to know them a little, this would help me to work out whether they would be a great fit or not..! 

Everything has been very up in the air with COVID, I completely understand the questioning around the zoom meet. Maybe you could say during it that you would prefer to meet in person, however I can think of the positives of this just like me right now studying I am in my pjs and ugg boots and I do not care. If I was studying in the library I would have had to change just for the occasion. πŸ˜„ Good luck with everything and good on you for reaching out, asking for help and finding this service. 

Re: I have a counselling appointment TOMORROW.

Well done making another couple of appointments @Former-Member!

That's annoying about the appointment being online and not having an easily accessible private place. Do you have enough mobile data to try finding a spot in a park for the appointment? I always have my appointments online (and my psychologist hasn't gone back to in-person sessions yet) but most of the time it's ok because I live alone, however one time I almost was going to have an appointment while I was staying at my parents place (long story related to getting stuck in a COVID lockdown, but I was able to leave before the appointment happened so it ended up not being an issue). The best solution I could come up with for myself was going to be walking to the park, finding a quiet spot in the shade, and using my phone for the session. If I'd had a laptop I could've hotspotted, but I didn't have one. If you happen to have a car you could sit in the passenger seat to do it, but I'm guessing you'd already have thought of that if it were an option. A park could be a good idea especially if it's one where you won't see anyone who might know you, like in a different neighbourhood.

Otherwise I considered hiring a meeting room - only the local council had reasonable room rates (the private rooms were like $100 for one hour when I was looking) but they weren't operating due to the COVID lockdown.

Re: I have a counselling appointment TOMORROW.l

Wow! Good on you @Former-Member @I know how anxious you e been able this so it's a brave step. 

I wonder if you are t able to find anywhere private enough to say what you want to say out loud if you could say that to them upfront and use the chat function for things you can't say out loud, or email. I know Some platforms have a little typing section.

 

also, about the limited time you might have with the GP I wonder if you could try work out what are your top priorities of what you want to get across and start with that so it doesn't get missed in all the other details?

 

I hope it all goes well. 🀞🏻 For u

Re: I have a counselling appointment TOMORROW.

Hi @Former-Member 

I know that your appointment is today.

 

Just popping in to wish you well and that I hope it goes ok for you.

 

Love from Snowie ❄

Re: I have a counselling appointment TOMORROW.

@Appleblossom 

@Snowie 

@destructive 

@TheVorticon 

@ELTravels 

@Daisydreamer 

@Schitzo 

 

Thank you for your interest and support, guys, but unfortunately that did not go very well at all. I had to cancel. I ran into the problem that I anticipated: I didn't have anywhere to talk. The library didn't have any meeting rooms. I went to a park nearby, but there were people there too. Without the privacy and sanctuary, it's pointless.

 

On the way to the park, I passed within fifty metres of my ex's cafΓ©. So close I could probably see her. It took everything I had not to look up from the ground... just being in that area made me anxious and reminded me of the time I thought I had a friend. I wondered what she was up to. 

 

That was a disaster. It's hard to face the big wide world after this...

 

I decided to buy a beer and read for a while before my bus comes. JUST MY LUCK, the beer I bought has a pry-off cap. I bought a bottle opener, but it's in a blister pack that's impossible to open without scissors, and I don't have scissors. [...]!!!!

Re: I have a counselling appointment TOMORROW.

Hi @Former-Member 

I am so sorry that you had to cancel your appointment.

I can understand how hard it is to find the privacy we need when we need to talk to our supports. I have had to cancel before because of this reason too.

I hope that you can have face to face appointments soon.

 

Please know that we are here to support you and be a lending ear for you too.

Look after yourself πŸ’–

Snowie

Re: I have a counselling appointment TOMORROW.

@Former-Member Ah, that sounds like a tough series of events. I'm glad you were able to come on here and share with us all. Sometimes just getting things out can help ease the frustration. 

I hope you're at least reading a decent book at the moment. I'm starting a new one for the long weekend, self-care!

Re: I have a counselling appointment TOMORROW.

@Former-Member 

People and stuff and gadgets are the bottom line for most of us in life.

 

You seem resourceful and optimistic in the sense of dealing with setbacks.  I do believe that counts, and eventually I hope things settle so more things are sorted.

 

Re triggers and thinking about your ex.  It would be huge.

 

Just heard an odd quote on youtube

 

Because the symphony ends does not mean it was not worth listening to. 

 

An attitude I consciously develop is to remember the good things and let go of the not so good things in past relationships.  

 

Take Care

Re: I have a counselling appointment TOMORROW.

Hi @Former-Member, 

I'm sorry to hear the appointment didn't end up going as well as you might've hoped. I just wanted to pop in to say I've had a little experience with Uni counsellors and found the one I spoke with incredibly helpful. I've only ever spoken to them over the phone, but there's also been options for videocalls and other forms like text based counselling. Additionally, I could sometimes email beforehand to explain what was happening for me before the appointment so they'd know where I was at and we could just get straight into it- I'm wondering if this might be an option for you? Wishing you strength and courage and hoping you're able to access the support you're after soon. 

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