Lived Experience Forum

[Lil2]

Hi

i have no one to talk to

i am in a committed relationship

but I can't stop thinking about someone I used to be close friends with.

someone I know has always cared for me deeply and we sort of ditched our chance together years ago. (10 years ago) 
I never see or talk to him anymore because my partner is jealous of him and says that "I can just tell he has always loved you" ....

I love my partner and will never consider splitting with him but I am sick of this nagging feeling at the back of my mind telling me to just go find my old friend...

I think it is because he has gotten really attractive and suddenly my brain is like you fucked up? What is wrong with me 😞 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Lil2, I'm not an expert in relationships, but your situation... really, is the x getting 'attractive' really enough to want to go back? For appearances? Some might call that lust :face_with_rolling_eyes:
There's nothing 'wrong' with you. I sometimes regret guys I dumped in my younger years, but we shouldn't hey? especially when we have someone were happy with. Are you happy? Maybe there's an emotional connection lacking to work on. Go on a holiday away together - that always helped me. With the X - write his name on a piece of paper, take it outside, set it on fire and watch it turn to smoke and flat away. Say goodbye forever. Just a thought. Good luck with it 🌻

[livefree]

well, maybe you're just not sincere with present guy. It sounds like you are not really happy. Or you could be a type of narcissist ?? 

[Otter]

Hi @Lil2 and most welcome wishes for the boards!

It sounds like you are experiencing a lot of conflicting feelings at the moment with some relationships in your life, and this can be really tricky and complicated to manage alone. I'm so glad you have found the Forums and have been able to reach out for support here.

Just clarifying that the word "narcissist" can have unintended implications, it's the nature of online communication, particularly due to the lack of verbal or social cues, that something can come off as more deragotry than intended, and often could have been said with the intent of support, but just affirming that our community is behind you and here to support you and sit with you in this uncertain and confusing time.

Kindest regards and best wishes from all the Forums team and community,

Otter

means there is no

social or verbal cues and

misinterpretation is e

[Historylover]

@Lil2  Sounds to me like thinking that "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence" - and committed relationships can become hohum over time if you need to be as excited in it as you were in the beginning.  Stay with your committed relationship is my advice.  Make it worth staying by committing yourself to it totally.