Lived Experience Forum

[May14]

Hi, just looking for a bit of advice and support really.

I have my very first session with a therapist over the phone and I really don't know what to expect. 

They have a questionnaire that I have answered so they should know my basic worries and issues. 

But I've had an experience with a university therapist before and I hated it. I did not click with her and I felt so uncomfortable.  I felt she was cold and bored of me, and when I walked into the room, her first question was 'how can I help you?' .... Isn't that what she was supposed to know? Honestly I just felt uncomfortable and on the spot and like I was supposed to already know how to deal with my thoughts. 

So I guess this will be my second attempt at therapy. But I'm supper anxious about it.

Thanks in advance for any advice/support.

[Mazarita]

Hi @May14 your post has me remembering my very first therapy appointment (about 30 years ago!)

These days it's pretty standard, I think, for psychologists to ask early on what it is you may wish to gain from therapy with them. "Can I help you?", seems like an odd way of asking about that. I understand about not clicking with them.

If I do not feel some kind of click with a therapist within a few sessions, I tend to look for someone new. Personally, I also gauge if I feel better walking out of a session than when I went in, even if it's just because I've had a sympathetic ear to tell what I'm going through. Or maybe that my heart is softer, more open and relaxed from letting out the feelings that I've been locking up inside. Or I've received some helpful practical advice. Therapy can be different things for each of us.

If you find it difficult to answer that question that was asked of you by the first therapist (however it's asked of you), maybe you could just start with how you are feeling now, what's happening for you, that you feel alone with with the big and scary things that have happened in your life at this time.

Wishing you well. I hope it feels good to be able to speak with the new therapist, and that afterwards you feel better. 

[HenryX]

Hi May14

Just a note to say that I can understand your feeling about psych appointments and agree with @Mazarita, that, while a therapy appointment may sometimes need to be challenging, I think that you do need to walk out feeling it was worthwhile. Over a number of appointments, you should feel that you are making progress. However, it is worth remembering that the therapist wants to avoid influencing your perception of where you are at during the first appointment(s). Consequently, that deliberate distancing may seem like coldness or aloofness at first

If a therapist and you cannot see some improvement over a few sessions, or you simply do not feel comfortable with that person, it may be time to seek out another therapist, if that is at all possible.

Therapy allows for new growth and experience so it can be seen in a very positive manner.

Really hope that you are able to see some progress and easing of your concerns.

 With Best Wishes

HenryX.

[HenryX]

Hi Mazarita,

A quick note to say that I agree with your comments and like the way you've put them together.

Cheers

HenryX