Friends, Family & Carers Forum

tired_sisyphus · ‎26-12-2022

@Determined safety and welfare...on their terms...definitely can relate as carer of someone with PD.

At least I got my Boxing Day shopping done. I suspect Mrs liked me not being there...of course, that's on her terms.

thanks for your well wishes. no harm done.

ckpineapple · ‎02-01-2023

This'll mostly be just a grumble because today was not a great day. Elderly mother with BPD has a bit of gastro going on. I've been sick with COVID the last week or so, so I saw her for the first time for a coffee yesterday afternoon. She was very miffed that I wouldn't go inside but I didn't want to make her sick as I'd just got out of isolation. But we chatted for about half an hour on the verandah.

This morning she called saying she was worse and I needed to get her some incontinence undies, which I did, along with some immodium (apparently the thought hadn't occurred to her). I didn't stay as I was going out. I texted this afternoon to check on her. She called back straight away with a phone call that pretty quickly turned sour (she won't go and see a doctor) - that sometimes she just wants someone to sit with her (which I did yesterday), and that sometimes she thinks I don't even like her. How do I respond to something like that? The brutal truth is that when she's behaving like that I don't like her very much. And she has a habit of using illness to get attention, so my policy is I'll give her practical help but won't make a fuss over her.

Anyway, just needed someone to rant to - more and more often conversations with her leaves me feeling like shit.

tired_sisyphus · ‎28-01-2023

Just a whinge here for me. I know, this is a non-representative sample because I seem to find myself here only when things aren't good.

It's been a whole month of down, down, nothing but down. We didn't have an xmas or new year. For each day of spark, it's been multiple days of complete inaction.

I know, I know. I gotta take care of myself! Do things I like! Fill my cup! - yes I know they're valid advices. But when you have a situation in your life that reminds you of what life could have been like had it not for your LO's mental distress...you can't help but get at least a bit resentful.

I won't show it to my LO. Because (1) I'm not an a-hole, but more importantly (2) I don't want to spark soemthing that will turn just a bubbling issue into somethign more irreversible.

So here I am. Resentful. Why me.
And I'll be out of this pity party by the time I finish writing this.
Take care all.

Jynx · ‎28-01-2023

Hope writing it out has helped @tired_sisyphus - here if you need 💜

tired_sisyphus · ‎31-01-2023

@Jynx thanks, grateful for the message. I did have another peer support resource and actually verbalising that was very helpful.

I just didn't look after my own needs and fill my cup. It's got to stop being a 'get around to it' item.

Shaz51 · ‎06-02-2023

Hello @cloudcore 😀❤️

Caring for loved ones living with complex mental health issues can be really challenging, and the carer's experience can often be overlooked and/or difficult to talk about day to day. We have created this space so that those feelings, challenges and accomplishments can be heard, and to promote carer's wellbeing and self-care.

To participate, here are 3 questions for your daily check in:

1) How are you feeling?

You can use a scale of 1-10 (1= really bad , 10= really good), if you would like to.

2) What is one thing you have struggled with, and one thing you have done well?

3) What is one nice thing you can do for yourself today?

You're welcome to check in daily, or how ever often you need to! Please just remember to be respectful and kind to each other as each of our experiences are so different.

Feel free to tag any carers you know in this space!

@Determined, @Anastasia , @outlander , @LOVELUKE , @Faith-and-Hope , @SpringBlossom , @MIFANTCARER , @ROB77 , @EssJay , @Jo-anneJoy , @Tool17 , @Sunrise9 , @BertandErnie , @Jaxta , @Mystique25 , @DTrain , @Futurefears , @CAD1 , @-Mumma-